


When Worlds Collide

by Ben_vs_Kylo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Ending, Ben just wants to be happy, Ben misses his parents, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Holding Hands, Lightsabers, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Taking liberties with the year-long plot gap they gave us, cute kisses, is this what the kids call fluff, tros broke me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ben_vs_Kylo/pseuds/Ben_vs_Kylo
Summary: It's all the same story, up until the end. Because it's an actual happy ending. Set between the time when Ben heals Rey up to burying the Skywalker lightsabers on Tatooine, the two of them go off on a little adventure of their own while trying to navigate their feelings about each other.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 24
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

Rey’s hand rested on Ben’s. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him in surprise. She straightened, sitting up, and locked eyes with him. His hands froze on her waist and behind her neck, like he was afraid if he moved them she would fall apart.

“Ben,” Rey smiled. The biggest smile she could ever remember feeling. 

Her hand moved up to his cheek, just barely grazing the skin there with her fingertips. He could feel it, like that night they sat across from each other. When their fingers touched. When it was just Rey and Ben and no one else existed but them and their bond. When everything had changed for both of them. He remembered how in that moment all he wanted was to grab onto her outstretched hand and never let go.

“Rey,” he breathed as he leaned into her hand.

At the same time, they pulled each other closer, noses touching, not looking away. Their eyes closed as their lips gently pressed against each other. Rey could feel him smile against her lips. She pulled away, just enough to look at him. There was no trace of Kylo Ren left in his eyes. His smile was real. No facade, no mask, just Ben Solo.

The way he looked at her made her melt a little. His eyes looking at every freckle on her cheeks and nose like he was trying to count them, the corners of his mouth turned up in a sweet smile.

Ben leaned in and kissed her again, this time a little harder. His hand on her waist slid to her back to pull her closer, the other still behind her neck. Her hand on his cheek moved back through his dark hair. This time, he pulled back.

His expression was sad. He knew what was coming, he could feel it. It must have shown on his face, because hers turned concerned just before his eyes closed and he slumped down onto the ground, hands slipping away.

Rey stared at him for a moment, stunned. She could see his chest moving up and down, breathing shakily. Still alive. Just asleep. For now. Still, the panic gripped her heart and held tight. They had just found each other. She couldn't lose him, not now.

Rey looked around, as if someone would be there to help her. To her surprise, the glowing blue ghost of a young man stepped out of the shadows. She didn’t recognize his face, but somehow she knew who he was.

“You’re Anakin, aren’t you?”

The ghost smiled. “Yes. And you're Rey."

She nodded.

"I want to thank you, Rey. Ben Solo couldn’t have returned if it wasn’t for you. You helped him finish what I started,” he said with a little smirk.

“I didn’t help him with anything you started,” Rey said, now getting more anxious and maybe a little defensive.

“Oh but you did. But not what you think. You’re thinking of Darth Vader.” Anakin came closer.

“You mean the prophecy.”

“Not quite. The prophecy was that I would bring balance to the Force. I did that. I mean the eradication of the Sith. When I threw Darth Sidious down that pit, I thought it was over. But the Dark side of the force is a pathway to many unnatural abilities. He found a way to survive. The Sith were not truly gone. When Kylo Ren made the decision to kill Snoke to save you, he set in motion the events that led you both here.”

Rey looked down at Ben, still unconscious. 

“What happens now? How do I help him? The Resistance will never accept him.”

“The Resistance might surprise you. Many of them knew Ben Solo long before Kylo Ren was created. As for now… I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but this is something I can do right.” Anakin knelt down next to Ben’s head, then looked to Rey. "Tell him... I'm sorry I wasn't able to help him earlier. I tried, I did, but it wasn't enough."

Rey frowned. "Maybe you should tell him yourself. He needs to hear it from you, not me."

"You're right," Anakin smiled sadly and turned his gaze to Ben. "In that case, tell him I'll see him soon."

Rey nodded and focused on Ben. The blue glow from Anakin's presence illuminated his face. He looked so at peace, she almost didn’t want to wake him. Anakin’s gloved hand rested on Ben’s forehead. Behind him, other ghost figures appeared.

Luke and Leia approached. Rey’s masters did not appear as she had known them in her lifetime. No wrinkles on their faces, no slight hunch of the shoulders, brighter eyes. No mechanical hands, no scars. Younger.

“Master Luke. Leia.”

“Hello, Rey,” Luke smiled.

“We could use your help,” Leia said with a small tilt of her head. Rey wondered what that meant. What could she possibly help three Jedi masters with?

Luke and Leia knelt beside their father. Leia looked at her son laying on the ground. For a split second, Rey expected her to look disappointed or angry, but there was only love in her eyes. She rested her hand on his cheek and stroked his hair. Luke placed his hand next to his father’s. Rey watched as they all closed their eyes in concentration. She realized what Leia meant when she said they needed her help. She placed her hand on his chest, where she had slashed him with Anakin’s saber so long ago on the Starkiller base and concentrated. She could feel the life returning to him, his injured leg healing, broken ribs reducing to bruises. She watched Ben’s face as his head turned to the side. The ghosts let go and the Skywalkers disappeared into the shadows with smiles and subtle nod from Leia, but otherwise without a word. She was alone again. She wrapped her hands around his and leaned over him.

“Ben,” she whispered. “Please, I need you.”

His eyes shifted under the lids for a moment, then opened.

“That’s nice to hear,” he smiled, Rey pulling him up. “My... my mother was here, wasn’t she? Luke too?”

“And... your grandfather. He said he'd like to speak with you soon."

He looked down. The revelation that he had been hearing Palpatine his whole life instead of his grandfather had left him with a strange, hollowed out feeling. Why would Anakin choose _now_ to reveal himself? Why not years ago, before any of this ever happened?

He was brought out of his thoughts by a warm hand on his face. He met her gaze.

"Are you alright?” Her thumb gently caressed his cheek.

Ben nodded. Rey let out a laugh of relief, that grip of panic easing it's grasp with every passing second, and pressed her lips against his again. Ben wrapped his arms around her and held her against him. He had wanted to kiss her since that damned elevator, since they fought with each other against Snoke’s guards, since she yelled his name across the throne room and hurled Anakin’s lightsaber at him when he was weaponless against the guard. Every time the Force connected them after that, he had to resist the urge to walk right up to her, grab her face, and kiss her.

Rey closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder. 

In a mix of exhaustion and a need to hold onto someone, or even just _something_ for comfort, they sat there for a long time as the battle high above them waned, taking in everything about each other. The way his cheek rested on the top of her head, the way her fingers slowly traced where his scars used to be on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her, each other’s heartbeat.

They both felt something in the air. Looking up, they saw the Millennium Falcon hovering above the opening in the cave ceiling. They watched as it moved out of view, then listened. The sound of the ship had stopped.

A figure peered over the edge of the opening. 

“Rey!” A voice called out.

“It’s Finn,” Rey smiled. Ben looked a little confused, then a wave of realization came over his face.

“I remember him. FN-2187. Finn,” he chuckled. 

Rey tried to think of a time she had seen him laugh, but couldn’t recall anything. She took in every detail, the way the skin around the corners of his eyes wrinkled, the dimple in his cheek, how his shoulders moved up and down.

Finn called down to them again. He knew she was down there. Someone else, too. He still wasn’t sure if this was the Force or if he just had a feeling, but that was a question for another time.

“Rey!”

“Finn!” Rey shouted upward to signal she had heard him, then turned back to Ben. She could feel him growing uneasy.

"Are you alright with this? Going back with them? Seeing... everyone?" She brought her hand to his cheek, searching his eyes.

"As long as you're there with me," he turned into her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. He loosened his arms from around her. "Can you stand?"

Rey slid off his lap just as a glint of metal caught her attention. She called the sabers to her, attached them to her belt and carefully stood, followed by Ben. He caught her arm as she swayed on her feet. "You can stand, but can you walk?"

She rolled her eyes, but took a shaky step that resulted in her stumbling and Ben catching her again. He fared much better.

"Come here," he held out an arm and tucked it around her waist, supporting some of her weight.

Together they shuffled a few steps forward, Ben's steps growing stronger while Rey's grew weaker. He came to a stop when her knees gave out. Apparently dying, being brought back to life, then using a good portion of her energy to heal directly afterward could take a lot out of a person. Her grip on his shoulder tightened as he steadied her.

"We need to get out of here," she whispered, leaning against him.

"I'll carry you," he looked down at her.

"Ben..." she met his gaze.

"You're not gonna make it if you try to walk, Rey. I'll be fine."

She sighed after a moment, then nodded. He scooped her up in his arms and she wound hers around his neck. She relaxed as he started to walk again, letting the sway of his steps and her exhaustion take over. By the time he stepped onto the platform, she was in a deep sleep.

Ben was careful not to wake her. He held her tightly against his chest as the platform rose to the surface. When they emerged from under the temple, Finn sat waiting on the boarding ramp of the Falcon. His hands were clasped together and he seemed to be staring at nothing. Ben made his way over, Rey still asleep in his arms. Finn looked up at him. Ben stopped walking. He could see fear and confusion in the former stormtrooper’s eyes, but it disappeared once he saw Rey. Finn stood and gave Ben a nod, a silent message that it was okay to come aboard.

For the first time in many years, Ben stepped aboard his father’s ship. He took a deep breath as a sense of nostalgia hit him. Everything was the same. The flickering lights, the piles of boxes, even the smell. But this was not the time to relive old memories. He made his way to the crew quarters and laid Rey down on the bed. He tucked the lightsabers in a drawer, pulled a stray crate over and sat down beside her. He reached out and gently stroked her hair. Even in her sleep, he could see the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. Ben took hold of her hand and told himself he wouldn’t let go until they landed, maybe not even then, but that plan quickly dissolved.

A noise from behind him made him turn around to see a face he knew all too well. Finn stood in the doorway, his back turned, trying to keep out Chewbacca who was looming behind him. Terror shot through Ben’s body as he stood up. He had, more than once, seen first hand what Chewie was capable of if he got angry. He had, after all, grown up with him. Chewie had taught him to play Dejarik. He had helped him and Poe pull little pranks on his parents and other friends. He had been with Ben and Han when his father had let Ben fly the Falcon for the first time. But Ben had also watched Chewie rip blasters in half over much less than someone killing his best friend of who knows how many years.

Finn gave in, stepping aside as Chewie moved forward, ducking his head under the doorframe. Ben braced himself as the Wookiee came up beside him and raised his long arm. Chewie let out a groan, smacked him on the back of his head, then to Ben’s surprise, wrapped him up in an awkward hug. His body tensed, not sure what to do but still ready for the worst. As the hug continued, he relaxed and hugged his old friend back. Chewie patted his head and let go. He whined at Ben.

“I know I messed up. I’m sorry you had to watch it happen.”

_YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT._

“I don’t expect you or anyone else to forgive me. Nothing I could say can ever make up for what I did.”

_I HURT YOU TOO._

“I don’t know if that makes us even though.” Ben's voice wavered. 

_I MISSED ON PURPOSE. DIDN'T WANT TO KILL YOU EVEN THEN._

“I know,” his voice dropped to a whisper as he looked down. "Thank you."

_I MISSED YOU._

“I missed you too.”

Chewie wrapped him up in another hug. Ben held onto him, burying his face in his fur. A voice made them break away.

“Ben,” Rey said softly in her sleep.

Ben, Chewie, and Finn all looked over at her. Ben crouched beside her and rested his hand on her cheek, his thumb moving up and down slowly. Her eyes were still closed but she shifted her hand and he took it in his free one.

“Rey. We’re ok,” he whispered, smiling just a little bit.

Rey moved her head slightly to the side, still asleep.

”You both should rest,” Finn said after a moment. Ben could hear slight annoyance in his voice. Or maybe it was caution. Ben couldn’t blame him for being nervous. The things he had done as Kylo were etched in his brain, constantly reminding him that coming back home after all that happened would not be easy.

Chewie went back to the cockpit and Finn turned to follow him but Ben stopped him.

“FN… sorry. Finn. Thank you. For stopping for us, I mean.”

“Lando stopped for you both. I only stopped for her.” Finn clenched his teeth and tried to show as little emotion as possible.

“Lando Calrissian? He’s here?” Like Chewbacca, Ben had known Lando his entire life.

“He’s flying.”

Ben looked down at Rey and back to Finn. “I should talk to him...”

“Just... stay with her. I’ll tell him you want to talk.”

“Thank you.”

Finn nodded and walked away. He was conflicted. Although troopers rarely saw Kylo Ren without his mask, Finn had seen him enough to know that this was the same face of the man he had worked under. Yet this was not the same person. His eyes were different. They were softer, there was none of the rage he had seen on Crait. And had he actually smiled at Rey? Having Ben Solo around would have to take some getting used to.

As soon as Finn was out of sight, Ben turned back to Rey. He sat next to her on the bed, resting his hand back on her cheek. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until now. He swung his legs up and laid next to her. There were two other beds in the crew quarters, but Ben had spent too long chasing her across the galaxy to care. Granted, back then he had been clouded by the Dark side and selfish longing. But those moments when their bond would connect, when he was alone, he had felt the light, felt Ben Solo seeping through the cracks left from her saying his name for the first time. HIS name. When she had said “Ben,” not Kylo Ren. The light would come through a little bit more every time he saw her. With accidental touches and bumps and echoes of fingers against fingers during Force bond sessions. He hadn’t let it show, though, afraid of what would happen to his position as Supreme Leader if he had shown weakness for a girl, a scavenger from Jakku, a Resistance member, a Jedi.

Ben pushed these thoughts aside. He turned his head to look at Rey, watching her sleep for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest so that her head rested just above his heart, her arm resting against his chest.

He was so tired but didn’t want to sleep. Sleep didn’t come easy to Ben, it hadn’t since that night at the Jedi temple. He didn’t like to even close his eyes. Now it was different. Instead of seeing Luke, he knew he would see all the things Kylo Ren had done. The village on Jakku. The battle on Crait. The look in his father’s eyes as he ignited his saber into his chest.

But Ben tried to concentrate on this moment. Being back in the Falcon. Rey. Her breathing, her heartbeat. Rey in his arms, safe. Safe. They were both safe. That was a feeling Ben hadn’t felt in a long time. He knew things would be different once they reached the Resistance base, so he wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as he possibly could. What would happen once they landed? His mother was gone. Who, besides Rey, would vouch for him? Certainly not Finn, not Poe, at least not after he had tortured him. Maybe Chewie, but how many people would listen to the wookiee?

Rey shifted in her sleep, bringing Ben back to the present. He had learned the hard way to not dwell on the future, on what could or couldn’t happen. Rey moved her hand ever so slightly over his chest and he could feel his heart beat faster for a moment. He smiled and concentrated on her again. Her hair falling out of it’s buns. The way the skin on her arms felt under his hands. The slight curl of her fingers resting against him. He watched her back move up and down with every breath she took. Soon, his eyelids became too heavy to keep open and he finally slept, curled up next to Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is very much appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

Rey woke, a little startled to find Ben, still asleep, holding her in his arms. She looked up at his face, careful not to wake him. He looked peaceful. She looked around to see where she was. The familiar crew quarters of the Falcon looked back at her. She rested her head back on Ben’s chest. She could hear his heart beating. She moved her hand and heard it beat faster. She smiled, that was sweet. Involuntary, but sweet.

She felt the ship shudder just a little bit as it landed and pushed herself up, Ben’s arms slipping from their grip around her. His eyes snapped open. He looked around in a slight panic, not knowing where he was for a moment, but relaxed once he saw Rey. She looked at him, concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

Ben reached up and pulled her back to him.

“Nothing. For now, at least,” he whispered into her hair.

They held each other for a few minutes, then sat up as Lando walked into the room. Rey smiled as he placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder.

“Hey, Kid. It’s time,” Lando said with a sad smile.

Rey watched as Ben realised what was to happen next.

“Lando, I-” he started to say.

Lando patted his shoulder. Ben held onto his arm and leaned toward him.

“Finn is talking to Poe about how to keep you a secret, just for a few days. That kid… He doesn’t like you much, but he sure cares about Rey.” Lando chuckled.

“Who knows I’m even alive? For all they know, Rey killed me on Kef Bir.”

“Sorry about that,” Rey blushed slightly. Ben ran his hand down her arm as if to say he forgave her. Of course he had, but she didn’t need him to say it to know.

“Us, Finn and Chewie of course, Poe Dameron, Maz, and Rose Tico. And some doctor. The rest will know soon enough. But for now, we need to get you both patched up.”

Both Rey and Ben were suddenly aware of their entire bodies aching, that bruises covered their arms and blood stained their clothes. Ben slowly swung his legs down to the floor. He pushed himself up off the bed, careful not to hit his head against the bunk ceiling. He was dizzy. Lando caught his arm before he could fall and Ben pressed a hand against the wall.

“Maybe it’s best you stay seated.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Ben sat back down on the bed, Rey resting her hand on his shoulder.

“Rey, how do you feel?”

Rey scooted to the edge and placed her feet on the ground. Ben held onto her arm as she stood to help steady her.

“I think I’m fine for now,” she said. She sat back down next to him anyway.

Just then, Finn returned. He was followed by a medic.

“Ah, Finn. What’s the plan?” Lando asked.

“Well, Poe thinks Rey should come out. People want to see her.”

“What about Ben?” Rey asked.

“He’ll stay on the Falcon. In a few hours, we’ll move to a better location. She’ll stay with him while he waits,” Finn said, gesturing to the medic behind him.

Rey looked past his shoulder to see a kind, familiar face. Harter Kalonia, a doctor Rey had met when she first came to the Resistance base. Rey stood and walked to her.

“Rey,” Harter smiled as she held out her arms to embrace her.

“How much do you know?” Rey asked as she hugged back. She wondered how much, if anything, Ben had shared of their time on Exegol.

“Nothing, I’m afraid. But by the looks of it, you both could use some care.”

They let go of the hug and Harter approached Ben, who was still sitting on the bed. He knew this woman. She was the one who would patch him up when he and Poe would get into trouble if his mother wasn’t around to do it, which was a lot. She was older now, but Ben recognized her almost instantly.

"Harter?" his voice cracked slightly.

"Hello, Ben," she smiled at him.

Ben didn’t notice the tears in his eyes until they spilled over onto his cheeks. Harter stood next to him and let him wrap his arms around her waist, his head against her side. She just smiled sadly and stroked his hair. To her, he was still the little boy who would run around with Poe and jump off boxes to see if he could levitate himself with the Force, which would almost always fail and end up with him sitting on a table while she tended to his scratches.

The moment was interrupted by Rose, who had just boarded. Ben let go of Harter and dried his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry to break this up, but people are starting to wonder why no one is coming out,” she said. She was uncomfortable at the sight of Ben, but tried not to show it. She had only seen his face once, at the Battle of Crait, but there was no denying this was the same man she had seen fight Luke Skywalker.

“We’ll be out in a minute, Rose. We’re just going over the plan,” Finn smiled at her. 

“What is the plan, exactly?” Rose joined the circle.

“Ben and Harter stay here, Rey you’ll come out with us. In a few hours, Rey and Lando will come back here, Harter will go back to base, and then you guys will go somewhere secret for a little while. You can decide where,” Finn looked at Rey.

“We should probably go now, though,” Lando chimed in.

Finn and Rose nodded in agreement.

“Can we have just a minute?” Rey looked at Ben.

They all stood for a moment, frozen, before Harter got the clue and ushered everyone else out of the room.

Rey stood in front of Ben, who pushed himself off the bed to stand. They said nothing, just looked into each other’s eyes. He leaned down as she stretched up. They hovered for a second, then pressed their lips together. Lightly at first, then harder. This was the first kiss that they were both fully aware of. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist. The air around them was light. Rey allowed herself to be pulled deeper into the kiss for a moment, then broke it. She didn’t want to pull away, but they both knew she had to leave. Besides, they would have time later. Ben wrapped her in his arms for a moment, then leaned back to look down at her.

“You need to get out there,” he said.

“I know,” she sighed.

She looked up at him and smiled.

“I’ll be back later, don’t go anywhere.”

“I’ve got nowhere else to go. Chewie is probably guarding the ship.”

“Have you seen him yet?”

“He smacked me. And then we hugged.”

Rey chuckled. She hadn’t really thought about it before, but maybe what Anakin had said about Ben's future was true. People in the Resistance had actually known him before he was Kylo. At least Harter was able to look past that part of his life, maybe others would too.

Ben let go of her and she turned to leave. She stopped to look back at him, he already knew what she was thinking. He leaned down again as his hand came up to rest on her cheek. She held onto his wrist as their lips touched again. His free hand moved from his side to her waist, pulling her close again.

They stayed together for a few seconds, then broke apart. Rey turned to leave again, this time she did. Ben sat back down. He was getting dizzy again. He smiled to himself and ran his fingers along his lips where Rey had kissed him. It felt good to smile. Before just a few hours ago, he truly couldn’t recall the last time he had smiled. He had been in the dark for so long. The new light was still overwhelming, but something he knew he would get used to quickly, especially if Rey was by his side.

Rey didn’t realize she was smiling when she joined the others just before the boarding ramp. She stood beside Rose, who lightly nudged her, smiling knowingly. She looked up at Lando and Finn. Lando looked amused, Finn uncomfortable. They all knew what had happened when they had left the room and Rey could feel her cheeks heat up slightly.

“Let’s just go, okay?” she sighed and walked down the ramp.

Her eyes scanned the crowd until she spotted Poe talking to Maz. As she walked, people smiled at her. She felt a little uncomfortable with everyone looking at her, all she wanted to do was go right back to Ben. But she couldn’t do that. Instead, she approached Poe and he hugged her a little too tight. Finn had followed close behind her, and Poe pulled him into the hug as well. Rey held onto her friends until BB-8 came along. She let go of Finn and Poe, kneeling beside the droid, who beeped happily.

“Yes, I’m alright.”

BB-8 made more noise.

“I’m happy to see you too, BB-8,” Rey chuckled as the droid rolled around her.

“Rey, we should get you to the medbay,” Poe said, noticing the bruises on her arms.

Rey nodded and Finn took her hand. Rey sighed, she had long since given up on trying to get him to stop holding her hand, no matter how annoying it was. But right now, it was comforting. They walked across the base to the medbay. As they walked, people continued to greet her.

Once there, they were met by a doctor Rey hadn’t met before. She looked nice though, and Finn left her to be patched up.

“I’ll come get you or send a droid when it’s time,” he said before he turned to leave.

Rey smiled and nodded.

The doctor treated her bruises and checked for any other cuts or broken bones. Rey knew she wouldn’t have any, but let the doctor do her work.

Once she was finished, the doctor left to tend to other patients. Rey was left alone with her thoughts, which was not something she liked. Lately she tended to overthink things and right now, she knew if she started, she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Thankfully, a knock on the door brought her out of her head. She opened it to see Poe standing there.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Of course.” Rey moved back out of the doorway so Poe could enter the small room.

They both sat, Rey looking down at her hands. She could feel Poe’s gaze on her, full of concern and compassion.

“What happened down there?” Poe asked after a minute or so of silence.

Rey took a deep breath and looked up at him. She told him what had happened on Exegol. Palpatine, dying, Ben almost dying, the Skywalker ghosts, all of it. Yes, even the kisses she and Ben shared. Poe sat quietly and listened, occasionally asking a question or two. When she finished with what she could remember, Poe was staring at the corner of the room.

“Wow,” was all he could say. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the things she was telling him.

They sat in silence again.

“Poe,” Rey said after a few minutes.

He looked up at her.

“I want to know… What was he like before? I know you knew him.”

He was quiet for a moment, looking down at the floor and thinking of the right words to say. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before turning to back to her. “Well, you knew Han and Leia. Imagine the two combined, in the body of a kid. Ben was… Ben. Kinda quiet, but super smart. I’m a few years older but my mother and Leia were good friends. We were close. We would get into so much trouble,” Poe laughed, shaking his head.

“When he discovered his Force abilities, he would jump off things and try to make himself float. He was a kid and he did kid things. When we got a little older, there were times I could see the darkness in him. Thinking back on it, I should have noticed sooner. He could get so angry sometimes. Even though she wasn’t around a lot, Leia was the only one who could calm him down enough to get him to think about what he was doing. He was definitely a momma’s boy. He was stubborn, just like her. And funny like Han. When he left to train with Luke, that was the last time I saw him until Jakku. When he destroyed the Jedi temple, that’s when I left the Resistance for a while.”

“So you WERE a spice runner,” Rey laughed.

“Yeah okay, okay, scavenger. Is there anything you need before you leave?”

“Just the Falcon prepped, but Lando and Finn should be taking care of that. And maybe some clean clothes.”

“I’ll make sure they do that and leave some clothes on the Falcon,” Poe got up to leave but stopped.

“Rey, if I don’t see you before you leave..”

Rey stood to hug him.

“May the Force be with you,” she whispered.

“May the Force be with you,” he said back.

They hugged for a full minute before letting go. They sometimes drove each other crazy, but the past year had solidified their friendship into something not even accidentally dropping a tree on BB-8 or lightspeed skipping the Falcon could break. Poe smiled at her and left. He headed for her quarters to grab some clothes, then made his way to the Falcon. He wanted to see Ben for himself. He wasn’t sure why. The last time they had come face to face, or rather mask to face, Kylo Ren had tortured him for information. Maybe he wanted to see for himself if what Finn said was true. That it was indeed Ben Solo again, and not the shell of a man he once was.

Chewie stood near the boarding ramp of the ship, like a guard. Poe smiled as he saw the old medal around Chewie’s neck, the one Leia had given Han after they had first met. Maz must have given it to him.

Poe walked past him, boarding the Falcon. He was met with a sight he never thought he’d see again. He immediately walked back to the boarding ramp, but didn’t exit. He needed a moment to process.

Ben Solo, sitting on a bed. Harter Kalonia, fixing him up. Seeing this almost brought tears to Poe’s eyes, but not often one to be sentimental, he quickly pushed them back down. He thought back to the last time he had seen this. He and Ben had tried to climb on top of the Falcon on a dare. Ben had slipped and fallen. Even then, he was strong in the Force, but he was clumsy. Poe wondered if he still was. 

A laugh brought Poe back to the present. It was Ben’s laugh. It was the same as he remembered, just deeper. The laugh of his friend. Practically his cousin. Poe told himself to get it over with and turned back to the crew quarters. He took a deep breath and walked forward. Harter was now busy repacking her medkit in the main hold where Poe dropped off Rey's clothes, Ben still sat on the bed in the crew quarters. Poe knocked on the doorframe.

Ben looked up in surprise. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come aboard for another hour or so, especially not Poe Dameron. In fact, Poe was the last person he expected to see, considering their last meeting. They stared at each other in silence. Ben was the one to break it.

“So who talks first? I talk first? You talk first?”

Poe shook his head and laughed. Ben stood up, unsure what to do with himself, but started talking anyway.

“Poe… Nothing I say can make up for what I did to you on Starkiller. I know that. But as you already know, I was in a dark place. I was in the darkness for so long, I got so caught up in it. I couldn’t pull out of it, even for my oldest friend. And that’s not a good excuse, I know. I-”

“Ben. I get it. Definitely not to the degree you were at, but I’ve had some dark times too. I was even running spice for a little while. I did things I’m not proud of. Everyone has a little darkness in them,” Poe cut him off.

“You were a spice runner?” Ben was curious.

“You worked for a Sith Lord?”

“You were a spice runner?”

“You were Supreme Leader? I could do this all day,” Poe rolled his eyes.

Ben smiled. He really had missed Poe, he had missed cracking jokes and getting into mischief with his friend. And he got the sense that Poe had missed it too.

Poe and Ben talked for a long time. They both could tell the other had their guard up, still very aware of the past, but those walls slowly came down the longer the conversation went. Poe told about his time away from the Resistance, Ben told about what he experienced on Exegol, about Jedi training and some lighter adventures he had while serving under Snoke. Poe was surprised at how much downtime Kylo Ren had been given. He had assumed that he had always been scheming in one way or another, but it seemed like a lot of his time was spent meditating or wandering star destroyers.

After about an hour, Finn came aboard. He was surprised to see the two men just sitting there, chatting. Finn was trying to see Ben Solo instead of Kylo Ren, but it was hard. Not knowing the man that had come before was proving to be a setback.

“Poe, the ship is ready to leave. It’ll be another hour or so, Lando has some business to take care of. Ben, Harter sent me with some extra clothes for you. They’re out by the Dejarik table next to Rey's.”

“Thank you.” Ben said.

“I should go, actually. General stuff. I don’t know how your mom did this for as long as she did,” Poe pushed away from the doorframe.

Finn exited the ship and Poe started to follow him.

“We’ll talk soon, okay? I wanna know what’s up with Rey. She already told me you two kissed, so don’t even deny it,” Poe turned and winked with a grin.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll tell you all about it,” Ben groaned. He felt the tips of his ears heat up.

Poe and Finn left Ben to be alone on the ship. By then, Harter had left. He stood to find the new clothes Finn had brought. He examined the shirt, pants, and jacket. They looked like the clothes his father would wear, but in his signature black. He laughed to himself and changed into the fresh clothes. He folded his dirty ones and sat them on the bench. If there was one thing his mother taught him, it was to fold your clothes. He was still tired, so he made his way back to the bed and sat for a moment. Then he had an idea.

Ben closed his eyes and reached out. He could feel the energy swirling all around him. He called out to Rey with his mind. They had never tried to connect through the Force, it would just happen at random. But Ben knew they could control it if they wanted to.

Across the base in the med bay, Rey felt a familiar tug of energy. 

_Rey._

She heard Ben call her name in her head. She closed her eyes and reached out to him. They both opened their eyes to see the other sitting next to them.

“Are you alright?” Rey asked. He had never called out to her before, she couldn’t help but wonder if there was something wrong.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Ben held out his hand and Rey took it.

Even though they were across the base from each other, they both were solid. Like on Ahch-To. Rey let out a breath of relief. Ben rubbed his thumb against her hand and she closed her eyes.

“Are _you_ alright?” Ben repeated her question.

“Now, yes. I just overthink things. When I’m alone.”

Ben touched her cheek and she leaned her head into his hand.

Even after all this time, it was still strange to her that he could be so far away but she could still see and hear and touch him. Strange, but now comforting.

Rey was still exhausted. She let go of Ben’s hand and laid on her side, Ben following suit behind her.

Ben tentatively reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. He slowly ran his fingers down her spine. He reached her waist and slipped his arm around her, pulling her back against his chest. Her hands almost instinctively rested on his. 

This was not the first time they had lain like this. Ben could count at least three separate occasions during the past year when he had woken up in his quarters of whatever Star Destroyer he was assigned to at the time, tangled with a sleeping Rey via their Force bond. The first time it happened, they had both been so startled that the connection broke almost the instant they had woken up. The second hadn’t been much different, but the third time was. He wondered if she remembered them at all.

*

_Kylo woke to find Rey lying on her side, her back facing him and head cushioned by his arm. Again. It seemed this Force bond just would not give up trying to catch them at the worst moments. Kylo just wanted to sleep. He was a little annoyed until he realized she hadn’t disappeared. She was still asleep, so he tried to not wake her. He didn’t want her to leave. Not yet. She shifted, turning to lay on her back. Carefully rolling on his side, he looked at her face. He hadn’t ever noticed but there were freckles all across her nose, a sign of too much time out in the Jakku desert. He tried to connect the tiny dots, forming tiny constellations on her cheeks. But as he watched, the blank, sleeping expression on her face twisted into something Kylo knew all too well but never thought he would, nor wanted to, see in anyone else. He froze, still watching as she slept through the nightmare, but couldn’t take it anymore when the pained expression turned into whimpers and fists that clenched at her side. Not knowing what else to do, Kylo gently rubbed her arm, whispering in her ear._

_“Rey, you need to wake up. It’s just a dream. Rey.”_

_She was too deep in the dream to wake just yet. When his words seemed to do nothing, he could think of nothing else to do but to turn her towards him with the arm under her head and hold her against his chest. She didn’t wake, but the contact seemed to help soothe her in her sleep. Kylo held her until he was sure the dream had passed, then fell asleep once again with her still in his arms. When he woke the second time, the bond had been broken and she was gone._

*

Here, now, they were both willing and aware of what was happening. They stayed like this until BB-8 entered Rey’s room in the med bay, startling her and breaking the Force bond. But they would see each other soon enough. 

The droid informed her that it was time for her to return to the Falcon. She followed him through the base, thinking about Ben. If she looked at the situation rationally, she didn’t know Ben Solo as well as she liked to think she did. Yes, when she and Kylo would be connected through the Force, she knew she was really talking to Ben most of the time. It was Ben who she touched hands with, who was so curious about their bond. She knew it was Ben who had asked her to join him back in the throne room. She heard plenty of stories from people who knew him before Kylo, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to be careful. She knew Ben had feelings for her, and she had realized she had feelings for him in that damned elevator.

She had spent a year with the Force randomly connecting her with Kylo Ren, sometimes at the most inconvenient moments. She spent most of these connections trying, yet failing, to ignore him. He would just talk. He knew she was trying to ignore him, but he would keep talking anyway, also knowing that she’d eventually give in and engage in the conversation. Sometimes he would ask about her training, especially about her skills with a lightsaber. He would give her suggestions that she actually did benefit from. Mostly though, he would tell her about his research on their bond. He was still trying to make sense of how they were still connected even though he had killed Snoke, who had said he bridged their minds in the first place. They both had assumed that once he was dead, the bond would have been broken, but it wasn’t. For a long time, nothing he found could explain it.

Rey thought back to just a few days prior, when he told her they were a dyad; two individuals, but one in the Force. They were connected, whether they liked it or not. Nothing could change that. That was the reason they kept finding each other. Why he had been drawn to her, and she to him. She didn’t understand how it all worked, but she decided to not think about it at the moment.

Just before Rey and BB-8 reached the ship, Finn ran up to them.

“Rey,” he said, slightly out of breath.

“Finn.” Rey smiled.

“I thought you might want this.” Finn had her durastaff slung on his back. He pulled it off and held it out to her.

Rey wrapped her hand around it and pulled Finn into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her, not sure when or if he would see her again. She held him at arms’ length and smiled.

“We’ll be back soon,” she said.

“If he hurts you…” Finn was scared of what could happen.

“He won’t. Besides, we’ll have Lando with us.”

“He could hurt both of you.”

“Finn, it will all be fine. Now stop worrying about me and start worrying about being co-general with Poe, okay? The Resistance still needs your help.”

“I’ll try,” Finn sighed. “But I swear, if he lays a finger on you, FN-2187 is coming back for revenge.”

“Okay, stormtrooper. I’ll pass on the message,” Rey laughed.

They hugged again and Finn turned to meet up with Poe. He turned back.

“Rey, may the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you, Finn.” 

Rey smiled as she watched him leave. BB-8 moved around her and beeped.

“Yes, I know.”

More beeps.

“Alright, let’s go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for heart to hearts!
> 
> I love the idea that Ben and Poe were buddies before Ben left for the Jedi temple, if you couldn't tell by Poe's conversation with Rey, as well as his conversation with Ben. If the acting general of the Resistance is chill with Ben Solo, that for sure is a good sign.
> 
> If you're not aware, Harter Kalonia is the doctor you see checking up on Chewie in The Force Awakens after they return from Takodana.
> 
> Kef Bir is the moon with the Death Star ruins. I honestly can't remember if the name is ever mentioned in TROS, so just in case it wasn't, there you go.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feedback is very much appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be just a little shorter but it’s kinda important.  
> I thought I’d give you a song that fits with Ben and Lando’s conversation, so go give “Numb” by David Archuleta a listen.(Yeah, the American Idol guy from years ago lol)

BB-8 rolled up the boarding ramp of the Falcon. Rey followed close behind, swinging her staff around onto her back. The droid went down the corridor to the cockpit, while she made her way to the main hold, looking for the clean clothes Poe had left. She couldn’t wait to get out of the bloodsoaked and sweat stained tunic and pants she was still wearing, and had been for days now. She would have to let them soak in the refresher sink before even thinking about scrubbing them clean. 

Ben sat on the bench. She spotted the bundle next to him, neatly folded. Ben sighed, his arms propped up on his knees and his chin resting in his hands, looking intently at the Dejarik game. At the sight of him, all of her previous worries were gone. A smile came across her face as she saw he was now wearing a smuggler’s jacket. His sweater sat on the bench next to her clothes. Rey couldn’t help but notice how much he resembled his father, she had never been able to see it until now. She approached him and rested her hand on his shoulder.

“I used to be good at this, you know,” he said, looking up at her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

“No way. Chewie is the only one I’ve ever seen be good at this game.”

“Who do you think taught me? Besides…” Ben motioned for her to lean down. “He cheats,” he whispered in her ear, as if Chewie could hear him.

“Okay, now that I do believe,” Rey smiled as she straightened up.

Lando entered the room.

“Still at it?” he asked Ben.

“Tell her I used to be good at this game.” Ben looked up at him, almost pleading with his eyes.

“I’ll admit he did beat both myself and Han a lot,” Lando chuckled. “We had to team up, but he’d still win. Then Chewie would come help him and they’d be unstoppable. We had some good times at this table.”

Ben projected a memory towards Rey. She smiled as she saw a much younger Han and Lando getting very frustrated with a much younger Ben as they all sat around the game table, Chewie watching in the corner.

Lando spoke again. “Not to change the subject, but it’s time we decide where to take you for the next few days."

The three of them sat in silence for a moment before Rey broke it.

“I’ve been thinking. I want to complete my training. Build my lightsaber. I’ve used Anakin's for so long, I feel it’s time to have one of my own.”

Ben considered this for a moment. “You've more than earned it by now. Besides, I could use one as well. I threw mine into the ocean.”

“You did what?” Rey looked down at him, a little confused.

“Back on the Death Star, after you left. I threw it into the water. Long story,” Ben said.

“Wouldn't you want to retrieve that one instead of building a new one?” Rey sat next to him, her hand still on his shoulder and his arm still around her waist.

“No. That lightsaber served Kylo Ren well. But not me. I don’t want to be reminded of my past every time I egnite it. It was an explosion waiting to happen, anyway.” Since he had built it with a cracked crystal, he had always been just a little nervous it would blow up. No matter how cool it looked, Kylo Ren’s unstable lightsaber had always been the most dangerous weapon in the room and not just because of who was wielding it.

“Rey, the best way to learn how to build a lightsaber is to watch someone else build one. We can build them together.”

“If you’re sure, then that’s what we’ll do.” Rey leaned against his shoulder.

“I’m no Jedi, so where does one build a lightsaber?” Lando asked.

“We need crystals first. Ilum was destroyed along with Starkiller Base, so that's out of the question. Our best bet would be the Crystal Caves on Dantooine,” Ben said.

“We’ll set a course for Dantooine, then.” Lando turned on his heel.

Rey and Ben stood and the three of them made their way to the cockpit, Rey forgetting about her clean clothes. BB-8 chirped happily as they entered. Rey and Lando sat in the front, Ben behind her. He didn’t mind. This was the seat he would take when he would fly with his parents. Leia would sit where Rey was, Han where Lando sat. Ben thought back to when he was very small, maybe 4 years old. His mother would turn in her seat and pull him onto her lap. Han would point out different planets and stars, telling stories of each one. Ben would ask endless questions about their adventures from before he was born. He would beg to hear about his father and Uncle Luke rescuing his mother, about the funny Ewoks and C-3PO on Endor-he always laughed at that story, how Mom and Uncle Luke saved Dad from Jabba the Hutt with Uncle Lando and Chewie.

Ben smiled to himself as the familiar sounds of the Falcon starting up filled the small space. Rey looked back at him. She could feel every memory as he replayed them over and over in his mind. She turned slightly in her seat, just like his mother would, and reached for his hand. She didn’t grab it, she just held out her own and waited for him to take it, which he did without hesitation. He had no intention of letting go this time. He had spent too long letting her slip from his grasp.

Once the ship was out of the atmosphere and on course through hyperspace, Lando turned to them. “Get comfortable, we’ve got awhile before we get there.”

The three of them chatted. Ben and Rey told Lando what had happened on Exegol. Lando and Ben told Rey stories about Luke and Leia and Han. Rey told them about her life back on Jakku. It wasn’t quite as boring as she had previously thought. Not good, just not boring. She told them about run ins with teedos and interesting items she had kept while scavenging shipwrecks. BB-8 even told his own tale about Rey saving him from Teedo.

Throughout their talk, Ben distractedly touched Rey. He didn’t care that he could occasionally feel Lando eyeing him curiously. He ran his hand up and down her arm, softly tugging on the bindings that covered them. He gently kneaded her hand with his fingers. And he rarely took his eyes off her.

After talking and laughing for about an hour, Lando sent Ben away to check on the hyperdrive. Lando and Rey turned to each other. She had a million questions she wanted to ask the experienced pilot but at the moment, only one was important. Only one would help her make the impending decision she needed to make, and she needed to make it sooner rather than later.

“What are you thinking?” She held her breath, honestly waiting for an answer she wouldn’t like.

Thankfully, she didn’t get that.

Lando took a moment to think about what he was going to say.

“That’s Ben, alright. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the same kid who would fall asleep in the smuggler compartments only to wake up when Han and I were already out in space. Had to turn around to drop him with Leia every time… He’s been through some tough things in his life, even before he turned. Trauma changes people. It changed Han, it changed Leia, Luke, hell, it even changed me. But I have no doubt that that man is Ben Solo. Maz would tell you it’s about the eyes. She’s not wrong. I ran into him about 9 months ago on a job, I doubt he saw me but I looked into his eyes and there was almost nothing left of the boy I knew. But now… Those are Ben’s eyes.”

She hadn't doubted it was Ben. She had felt it when the bond connected on Exegol. But having it confirmed by someone else, someone who had known him his entire life, was like a weight lifted off her shoulders.

Rey’s thoughts were interrupted by Lando speaking again.

“By the way, the way he looks at you… It’s the same way Han would look at Leia.”

Rey could feel her cheeks heat up for the second time that day. Before she could say anything, Ben returned. Lando turned back to the controls, a slight smirk on his face.

Ben sat down. Catching Rey’s hand as it hung lazily over her armrest, his thumb traced circles and patterns on her wrist. He watched their hands intertwine for a moment, then looked into her eyes.

She was still so tired and Ben could feel it. Not just through the Force bond, he could see it in her face. 

_You should rest. We still have a long time before we get there._ He projected the thought towards her. His thumb moved over the top of her hand.

Rey knew he could feel how tired she was, but she could feel his exhaustion as well. She squeezed his hand. 

_You’re tired, too._ Is all she could manage to think back. He was looking at her so intently, her heart skipped a few beats.

_I know. But you go rest, I need to talk to Lando._

Ben let go of her hand as she stood. She walked past BB-8, through the main hold. She picked up her clothes from the bench and inspected what Poe had brought for her. Her grey vest, a light shirt and pants. She smiled to herself and tucked them under her arm, making her way to the crew quarters. The bed closest to her seemed to pull her towards it as she sat on the edge. She pulled off her boots, then quickly changed. She examined her dirty tunic and pushed herself up, crossing the hallway to the fresher. Turning on the sink, she pressed her dirty clothing under the water and left them to soak. She watched for a moment as the dirt swirled in the water, then crossed back to the crew quarters. Rey swung her legs over the edge of the bed, but didn’t dare close her eyes. Not yet, not without Ben beside her.

In the cockpit, Ben moved up to the seat Rey had occupied. He and Lando sat in silence for a minute or so, then Ben took a deep breath and spoke.

“I wanted to go to you,” he said.

Lando looked up at him.

“When everything happened at the Jedi temple. I thought about finding you. The first thought I had after I left was ‘Lando would help me.’”

“Kid…” For once, Lando Calrissian was at a loss for words.

Ben looked down at his hands.

“Sometimes I would think to myself ‘what would have happened if I had just gone looking for Lando?’” Something between a sob and a laugh caught in Ben’s chest.

Lando placed a hand on his shoulder. He thought long and hard about what to say. He knew it was going to sound harsh, but he said it anyway.

“Ben. Why didn’t you come find me? I remember that day. I wasn’t too far away from Yavin, I could’ve helped you. Your parents, everyone was so worried about you. And then Luke just vanished… None of this would’ve happened if you had come to me.”

“The Knights of Ren found me first,” Ben said bluntly, looking up at him. He didn’t know what else to say. Lando’s words stung, but nowhere near the level he had grown accustomed to while serving Snoke. At least he was being honest.

“Lando, I can’t take back what I did. I can’t reverse the decisions I made back then. But I need you to know that I, Ben, regret every single one of those things. Including not reaching out to you. You’re right, none of this would have happened if I had just looked for you. But that also would mean I might not have found…” Ben cut himself off. 

He hadn’t admitted that to anyone, not even to himself. That if he had made a different choice back then, there was a chance Rey may have never come and turned his life upside down, no matter how messed up the circumstances had been when they'd met.

“You wouldn’t have found Rey.” Lando took his hand away from Ben’s shoulder and turned back to the controls.

Ben didn’t speak, he just looked back down at his hands.

“You forget, kid. I’ve known you Solo men since way before you were born. I know the look.”

“The look?”

“Yeah. Your dad had it, you’ve got it. The way you look at Rey, it’s the same way he looked at your mom.”

“Oh.” This was not the way Ben thought this conversation would go. “Well you’re right again, I might not have found Rey. But then again, I wouldn’t have known what I was missing, would I?” 

That was a terrible thought. Ben shoved it out of his mind.

“I think you would’ve found each other eventually,” Lando smiled

“Yeah, maybe. But thinking about what could've happened doesn't change what _did_ happen,” Ben huffed and crossed his arms, slightly slouching down into his seat. "Has anyone ever told you you're good at changing the subject?"

“Sorry, Kid,” Lando laughed. “Continue with your apology.”

“Nothing I can say can fix anything I did-”

“Anything Kylo Ren did.” Lando interrupted.

“Right. Nothing can be reversed and I don’t expect to be forgiven for anything that happened, or to even have people understand what I went through.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“I think about him every day, you know. My dad. What I did to him. I can’t get it out of my head,” Ben finally said.

“I don’t know what went down between you two on StarKiller, but I do know that Han loved you. He wouldn’t want you to dwell on it. He would have forgiven you in a heartbeat. Han didn’t regret much, but one thing I KNOW he did regret was not being there for you when you needed him most. He tore himself apart after we got word about Yavin. He looked for you, too. For weeks. We all did. It wasn’t pleasant, he and your mom fought the entire time.”

A tear slid down Ben’s cheek. Back then, he had thought his family had abandoned him. But they had been out there, searching. For him. He knew the rumors, people said he had killed all the other students that night at the temple. He hadn’t, of course, but that had been the story. That he was the ‘Jedi Killer’. And they had searched for him regardless.

“They would’ve been proud of you. Both of them.”

Ben let a few more tears spill out before wiping them away. He stood and placed a hand on Lando’s shoulder. He squeezed it slightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered before letting go.

 _Ben. You need to sleep._ Rey’s voice filled his mind.

 _Okay, okay, I’m coming._ Ben took one last look at Lando, then made his way to Rey.

She was laying on her back, eyes wide open. When he walked in, she sat up and perched on the edge of the bunk, tugging at her hair. He sat on the bed across from her, watching her unravel the buns in her hair. Her fingers combed the dark strands, untangling them as she worked her way through them.

Once she finished, Rey scooted back onto the bed until her back was against the wall. She and Ben looked into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. He waited until she looked down to move to her side of the room. 

He sat beside her on the bed and she rested her head against his shoulder. He took her hand in his and slowly traced the veins going up her wrist and down to her fingers.

“Ben,” Rey said quietly. “What happened? On Exegol when you passed out?”

He turned his head, his nose pressed against her hair. He lightly kissed her temple.

“I’ll tell you about it later. And the Death Star. But right now, I just want to sleep.” His conversation with Lando, however short, had been draining.

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Rey turned her head to face him. She was too tired to disagree.

Looking up into his eyes, she reached her free hand up to his cheek. Ben leaned into it, releasing her other hand. He held onto her wrist at his cheek and leaned down, placing a kiss on her lips. Rey held him there for a moment, then pulled away. She sighed and let her body fall sideways onto the bed. Ben chuckled and followed suit, pushing her forward to wedge himself between her and the wall. She let his body envelop hers as he wrapped his arms around her. A shiver ran down her spine as he nestled his nose against the spot her neck met her jaw. He hesitantly lowered his lips to her neck, planting another gentle kiss. Another shiver.

“Ben,” she whispered.

“Mmmm,” his lips were still on her neck.

She turned onto her back, looking up at him.

“Go to _sleep_ ,” she giggled slightly.

“One more kiss,” he moved down and locked his lips with hers again. And again, she held him there, her hand on his neck.

“Okay, now sleep,” he pulled away after pressing not just one but several kisses onto her lips.

Rey leaned into his chest as his hand found her waist, pulling her against him. She looped her arms under his, nestling her head against his shoulder. They fell asleep holding onto each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, feel free to leave feedback or just say hello in the comments. And maybe some kudos, I like those too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently BB-8 holds a grudge against certain member of their party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter but I didn’t want to mix this one and the next one. Also if you wanna have some music, start playing Princess Leia’s Theme (from a new hope) at one of these three points: “You alright?”, “You go see Lando, I’ll check the damage”, or “I’m not sure if I can do this”. My personal favorite would have to be from “you alright?” but it’s up to you.

Ben woke first. Rey slept on her back, Ben practically on top of her, his face nestled into her neck, his arms wrapped around her waist. Her hand was in his hair, unconsciously running her fingers slowly through it in her sleep, the other rested on his shoulder. He pulled her in tighter, moving his head to rest on her chest, his ear right above her heart. He listened to the steady beating, felt each breath moving in and out of her lungs, absorbing the Force that swirled all around them.

He didn’t know how long he laid there, pressed against her. Long enough that he fell back into a dreamless sleep and was more than a little annoyed to open his eyes for the second time, only to look straight into BB-8’s photoreceptor. Although he wasn’t capable of facial expression, Ben knew the droid was glaring at him.

Rey woke with a start when BB-8 practically screeched at Ben. He repeated his message as Ben rolled off of Rey, allowing both of them to sit up.

“He says he’s watching you,” Rey chuckled as she propped herself up on her elbows.

“I’m aware,” Ben said in a tired voice. “Do I dare get up?”

“BB-8 thinks he’s tougher than he really is.”

This elicited a number of what Poe would call angry beeps, this time towards Rey. She was about to respond when she heard Lando call out to them.

“You kids awake back there?”

“Yeah, just being harassed by a ball,” Ben responded as he let his feet hit the floor and stood, BB-8 whining and softly ramming into his legs. Rey could hear Lando laughing as she raised her hand and effortlessly lifted the droid into the air so Ben could escape.

“What’s with him? He sat next to me for hours in the cockpit,” Ben stretched as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“No idea. Maybe he didn’t know who you were before,” Rey stood, bringing BB-8 down to the floor but keeping him in place. She slid off the bed and knelt beside the droid, looking into his photoreceptor.

“Are you going to be nice now?”

BB-8 whined.

“He’s not going to hurt you,” Rey rested her hand on the top of his head, turning to look up at Ben. The durasteel cool under her fingertips, she could feel the electricity running through the droid.

Ben knelt beside Rey. BB-8 tried to move backwards, but Rey’s grip on him with the Force was too strong.

“BB-8, I’m Ben,” he said as he raised his hand. The droid protested with a quiet squeal, but Ben moved his hand forward until it rested next to Rey’s. It was almost comical, the way they were comforting a droid as if he were a frightened or injured animal. 

But it worked. They sat for a moment, hands resting on his head.

“I’m going to let you go now. But if you try anything, I’m switching you off,” Rey patted BB-8 as he let out a low whistle.

Ben stood and moved out of the small room to make a pathway for the white and orange droid. Rey released her hold on him and turned on her knees to watch as he moved out of the crew quarters, pausing for a moment to look up at Ben who waited just outside the doorway. BB-8 made a noise, almost like a sigh, and rolled away to the cockpit.

Rey shook her head and laughed to herself. “Poe isn’t gonna be happy about that.”

Ben stepped forward and held out his hand to help Rey to her feet. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She rested her head against his chest, winding her arms around his waist.

Rey was still a little apprehensive about what was happening between them, though she was careful to mask the feeling from Ben. She felt totally comfortable to be wrapped up in his arms, but that was what slightly scared her. Even after Lando confirming what she already knew, that Ben had turned back to the Light, she couldn’t seem to shake the feeling completely. A lifetime of being tempted by the Dark Side couldn’t just be erased, could it?

She could feel his light. She knew it was there. An almost tangible thing, radiating from him, an energy pulsing through the Force around them. She could feel his darkness, skimming the edges of the light, almost like it was waiting to break through. As if some unforeseen event would cause it to seep back and slowly drown out the light. Ben’s light was powerful, though. Seemingly fueled by the sacrifice of his mother, of his wish to right the wrongs of his past persona, of any happy moment he held onto like an anchor.

_‘Balance. Powerful light, powerful darkness.’_

_‘Darkness rises, and light to meet it.’_

Luke and Snoke’s words rang in her ears as Ben pressed his cheek against the top of her head. Rey tightened her grip around his waist, burying her face into his shoulder.

There was still so much to learn about each other, but now they had all the time in the galaxy to do so.

The moment was interrupted by BB-8 zipping past them, narrowly missing their ankles.

“What’s your hurry?” Rey called after him, chuckling. 

BB-8 whistled something about ‘almost there’ and ‘excited to help’.

“I’ll go see if Lando needs anything,” Rey sighed as she let go of Ben. 

His hands dropped to her waist and held her at arms length for a moment, then reached one hand to tilt her chin upwards. Their eyes met and she could almost see concern swirling with the brown.

“You alright?” His voice was soft.

“I think so,” Rey gave a half smile.

“Rey.”

“This is just going to take some getting used to, is all. I don’t want to rush anything, but at the same time…” she trailed off, slightly distracted as Ben’s hand under her chin moved to the side of her neck, his thumb lightly sweeping across the edge of her jaw.

“I know, I feel it too,” Ben gave her a small smile. “But I’m still going to kiss you now.”

Rey wrapped her hand around his wrist as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He lingered for a few seconds, then pulled back when a small crash came from the direction of BB-8. Both of them turned toward the noise.

“You go see Lando, I’ll check the damage from the ball,” Ben said. He released Rey before planting another quick peck on her mouth.

“Be nice,” Rey smiled up at him before turning on her heel.

Ben watched for a moment as her loose hair swung between her shoulders with each step she took, then turned his attention to the droid. He rounded the corner of the hallway into the main hold and found the astromech had run into a stack of crates and was now trapped. He sighed as he knelt beside the crash sight, pulling a box from the pile.

“You’re a lot of trouble, you know,” Ben said as he lifted another crate.

BB-8 beeped at him. A defensive ' _No, you are.'_

“I’M trouble? I guess you DO recognize me.”

The droid let out a series of whistles and beeps, telling Ben what he remembered about him, or rather Kylo Ren.

“Sorry I tried to capture you,” Ben moved the final crate and BB-8 was set free from his trap.

Ben sat on the floor against the wall and watched BB-8 move around the room, as if to test his freedom. He leaned his head against the durasteel and closed his eyes. Hearing the droid’s memories of Kylo Ren brought back a few things he would have rather forgotten about. Things he was almost sure would cost him his freedom at the hands of the Resistance, no matter who he had an in with.

BB-8 rolled up next to Ben, who opened his eyes to look at him.

“I’m not sure I can do this.” For whatever reason, he told the droid about his fear of not being accepted by the Resistance once they returned from their little trip.

BB-8 seemed to listen, whistling from time to time. When Ben was finished, he beeped at him.

“What do you mean, you have something to show me?”

The droid moved away from Ben, to the middle of the room. Ben could hear the mechanics buzzing inside the droid as he seemed to concentrate. Suddenly, a blue holomessage appeared on the floor in front of him. Ben immediately recognized the 19 year old face of his mother, her hair she had always kept long tucked away into two buns.

“ _General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.”_

Ben had heard this message before, when his parents or his uncle would tell him the story of the princess who was captured by the Empire and rescued by the farm boy and the smuggler. Leia’s plea to Obi-Wan was something he’d heard over and over as a child, though it seemed to be just a story to him. Something that happened before he was born, and therefore hadn’t really ever been anything more than the beginning of a plot.

Now, hearing it on the floor of the Falcon, Ben pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks. He knew there wasn’t much he could take from the recording, the two situations were completely different. Leia had begged for help from Kenobi to assist the Rebellion against the Empire, Ben longed to be redeemed for nearly half a lifetime of sins. The one thing he could do in that moment was let his mother’s voice wash over him in a wave of comfort.

Once the holomessage disappeared, BB-8 moved back beside him. Ben looked at the droid, wiping the tears away.

“Where’d you get that?”

BB-8 whistled.

“R2, huh? I’ll have to see him when we get back.”

Approaching footsteps from the doorway brought Ben’s attention upward to Rey, who leaned against the doorframe.

“Having some bonding time?” She smiled down at the sight of Ben sitting against the wall next to the droid.

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Ben pushed against the floor to stand.

“Come on, Lando says we have about an hour,” Rey stretched her hand out towards him as BB-8 zipped past them to finish whatever errand he had been tasked with before his crash.

Ben closed the space between them and laced his fingers with hers, letting her pull him back to the cockpit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to have this and the next chapter be combined, but I need to do some research for the next part first and didn’t want to make y’all wait longer for an update so that’s why it’s short.  
> Also, not gonna lie that I made myself cry just a little while writing and revising this chapter. Anything Leia related makes me emotional and I really don’t know why, but it’s fine!  
> One thing about Ben and Rey’s relationship- I feel like they wouldn’t just dive headfirst into a romantic relationship right off the bat. Yes the feelings are there, but I feel like Rey especially would be at least a little hesitant about it at first, hence her going deep into thought about his light/darkness and what that would mean for his future. I hope that makes sense, I promise by the end of this story she’ll have her feelings more sorted out.  
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tells Rey a story

Dantooine was a relatively unimpressive sight. Green and tan and blue muddled together, the expansive grasslands and hills with the occasional river were nothing Ben hadn’t seen before on other planets. Rey, however, was just as taken with it as any other planet that wasn’t covered in sand or a hidden wasteland covered in storm clouds and Sith lightning.

Ben watched as she leaned over the control panels of the cockpit, getting as close to the window as she could. Her eyes followed the rivers winding through the hills as they neared their destination, the Khoonda plains.

They flew over a large structure, which Ben assumed to be the Jedi Enclave. It had been abandoned long ago, occasionally investigated by the Jedi Order, the Empire, and even Darth Vader himself. Ben had never visited, he only knew what he had read in the expansive libraries of the Core worlds where he would often opt to wait in while his mother would take care of her senate duties.

On the other side of the plains sat the mouth of the cave. A hill sloped upward from the grassy fields, a pile of large rocks and boulders blocking the entrance that sat almost in the middle of the hill. The cave must have been blocked off by the Empire sometime after Order 66, as there would have been little to no need for crystals this far out in the Outer Rim.

Lando circled the Falcon around the plains twice, choosing to land near the Enclave. There was plenty of flat space surrounding it, evidence of thousands of years of inhabitants, making for an easy landing.

“You two go find your crystals, I’ll find the nearest settlement to see if there are any supplies we could use,” Lando announced as soon as they touched the ground, handing Rey a comlink.

“Thank you for bringing us here,” she said with a smile.

“Anything for you, kid. For both of you,” Lando smiled back at her before turning his gaze to Ben.

Ben moved to stand, stretching his arms and legs. He looked down at Lando, clapping his hand against the old pilot’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if there are any remaining First Order officers here, so keep a lookout. They occupied a few settlements awhile back, but I have to admit that Dantooine was not any priority of mine so I have no idea if they ever left.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ben looked up to Rey and jerked his chin toward the hallway.

“Let’s get ready to go.”

Rey stood and led the way back to the main hold. As soon as they were out of sight of Lando, Ben reached forward to wrap his fingers around hers. She glanced down at their joined hands for just a moment, then let a tiny smile cross her lips as she lifted her eyes back up to scan the room for her staff. Spotting it against the wall near the doorway they had just crossed through, she looped her free arm through the strap and secured the staff against her back. 

“Wait,” Ben said as Rey started to tug him towards the boarding ramp.

“What is it?” She looked up at him.

“Come with me,” he squeezed her fingers and started toward the crew quarters.

As they passed the fresher, Rey remembered her clothes soaking in the sink and quickly attended to them, draining the water and lifting the wet fabric from the basin. She used the Force to draw most of the water from them, then hung the pieces of clothing on hooks to dry completely. She turned back toward the crew quarters and leaned against the doorframe as Ben knelt next to a drawer in the wall and opened it. She straightened as she watched him pull out two lightsabers.

“The sabers. I’d nearly forgotten…” She took a step forward to kneel beside him, sliding her staff from her back and leaning it against the wall.

Ben chuckled. “Me, too. I put them in here when we first boarded.”

He tried to hand her Leia’s saber, but she pushed it back into his hand.

“No. That one was your mother’s, you should use it.”

Ben looked down at the saber, balancing it between his two hands. He studied every ridge in the durasteel, every tiny screw that held the pieces together. He turned it over and over in his hands, memorizing every bit of his mother’s lightsaber that he could. 

“I… I knew she went through some training with Luke but… I never knew she had a saber,” he said quietly, almost a whisper.

Rey rested her hand on his shoulder. “Luke gave it to me just before I went to Exegol.”

“Did he… say anything about her?” Ben’s eyes threatened tears as he held the saber in his outstretched palms.

“He said she had sensed a death at the end of her Jedi path. She gave it to him and told him it would be used again by someone who would finish her journey.” Rey didn’t dare say that it was _his_ death his mother had sensed. She still wasn’t sure what that had meant, if it was the literal death of Ben Solo, or the figurative “death” of Kylo Ren. She silently prayed to whoever was listening that it meant the latter.

“Does that mean you finished her journey?” Ben interrupted her thoughts.

“I don’t know if it’s finished,” she said, reaching out to close his fingers around the saber. “Maybe we can finish it together.”

They sat in silence for a moment, hands wrapped around the weapon.

“I wasn’t gonna go, you know. I wanted to stay on Ahch-To and leave everything behind like he did,” Rey whispered, as if ashamed. And she was. Thinking back, she couldn’t believe that she had almost turned her back on the galaxy, on her friends, on _him_.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you had,” Ben set the lightsaber on the ground and turned on his knees to face her.

“I would have if Luke hadn’t talked me out of it. It was stupid to think I would’ve been able to turn my back on everything and everyone I love. I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t gone to face him,” Rey’s breathing was shaky. Just _thinking_ about thinking of the possibilities of what Palpatine and his fleet could have done to the galaxy was enough to set her on edge.

Ben sensed her unease and folded her in his arms. Rey practically melted into his embrace as she held back a sob. She wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder. He held her tight, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

“I would’ve tried to stop him. That’s what my plan was, anyway. Even if I hadn’t sensed you were going there too, I would've gone,” Ben loosened his grip on her, leaning back slightly to look down at her face. At some point during the last hour of their journey, Rey had pulled her hair back into her signature three buns. Ben couldn’t help but be a little disappointed when she had emerged from the crew quarters without her hair hanging down around her shoulders. Now, he brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes and leaned down, resting his forehead against hers.

“You would’ve tried to stop him with just a blaster and the Force?” She tried to not smile. 

“I would’ve thought of something,” Ben leaned down further and pressed his lips to hers in a quick peck.

Rey let the smile she had been holding back break across her face, thinking back to the throne room when he had killed Snoke. “You always do. We should get going.”

“You’re probably right,” he sighed.

Rey felt his arms drop to his side, sliding down her back and pausing at her waist for a moment. She let go of him, then pushed herself up to stand, pulling her staff back into place on her shoulder. Ben gathered the two sabers and stood, handing Anakin Skywalker’s to her. They clipped the weapons to their belts and made their way to the main hold, where Lando sat on the bench next to BB-8.

“Before you leave, Poe wanted to check in,” Lando announced as they walked through the doorway.

BB-8 whistled in excitement before connecting a call.

“Can you guys hear me?” Poe’s voice came from a speaker in the droid’s machinery.

“Yeah, we can,” Rey approached BB-8 and knelt next to him, setting her staff down once again.

Lando stood and left for the cockpit. Ben sat on the bench, next to Rey on the floor.

“Rey! Good to hear your voice.”

“We’ve only been gone about 10 hours, Poe. Has everything gone to hell that quickly?” Rey smiled.

“Yes, everything is on fire,” although Rey couldn’t see him, she could almost hear the grin on Poe’s face.

“Well at least it’s not the Falcon again.”

“Oh we’re still on that?”

“Of course we’re still on that.”

Ben watched Rey’s face as she chatted with Poe for a moment. He watched her eyes light up as she laughed. The slight crinkle next to her eyes as she smiled.

He was pulled out of his concentration when he heard his name.

“Is Ben with you?” Poe asked.

“Right here,” Ben scooted to the edge of the bench, placing a hand on Rey's shoulder.

“Oh good. So where are you all headed?”

“Dantooine. Just landed, actually,” Rey said.

“What’s so special about Dantooine?” Poe sounded mildly amused at their choice in destination.

“The crystal caves,” Ben said.

“Ohhhhhhhhh okay. Jedi stuff. Not exactly what I’d call a vacation, but you can do what you want I guess.”

“What were you expecting? A lakeside retreat on Naboo?” Ben laughed.

“Yeah, something like that. Speaking of Naboo, Finn and I had the idea of relocating the Resistance there. We’d like to run some details by you when you return, Rey. You, too Solo. If you're interested.”

Ben wasn't at the moment, but it felt nice to have the option instead of an obligation.

“Alright, though I should tell you I’ve never been to Naboo,” Rey said.

“That’ll have to change,” Ben leaned down to press his nose in her hair and whisper in her ear. She smiled as she leaned back against him.

“Perfect. Well, I don't want to hold you up from exploring your little cave,” Poe chuckled.

“Thanks for checking in,” Rey said.

“Of course. Com when you’re ready to return, okay?”

“We will. Say hello to Chewie for me, will you?”

“Will do. 3PO says hello as well. Still haven’t found his volume control yet…” a loud noise came from Poe’s end. “Damn it. Droid collision. Second one today! I gotta go, have fun with your crystals, kids.”

The transmission cut there. BB-8 turned to look at Ben and Rey, whistling and beeping at them.

“I know you wanted to speak with him. Next time, okay?” she said, stretching her fingers to pat the droid, who whistled and moved out of the way as Rey stood.

She turned to Ben and held out her hand. He took it and let her pull him up to stand.

“Shall we go?” he smiled as his thumb traced circles over her wrist.

“I guess so,” Rey held out her free hand and summoned her staff, slipping it over her shoulder.

They passed the cockpit on their way out, letting Lando know they were leaving.

“Com me if I’m not here when you’re done,” he called out as they turned to go.

“We will,” Ben said.

Rey pushed the release button on the boarding ramp, and for the first time in over 24 hours, Ben Solo filled his lungs with fresh air.

He had gone much, much longer on recycled air in the past. He practically lived on Star Destroyers for the better part of the past seven years or so. But there was something different about this time that Ben couldn’t quite put his finger on. Maybe it was the fact he had been on his father’s ship for the first time in many years. He hadn't quite taken the time to let that sink in yet. Maybe it was the internal battle he was still going through, even if he was nearing the end of it. Not that there was any time to think about it, he was too busy watching Rey take in this new landscape.

She walked ahead of him, straight into the grass that came up well past her knees. It brushed her fingertips as she turned in circles, looking at every tree and boulder that lined the plains. Her eyes widened as they landed on the mouth of the cave.

“Is that it?” she turned back to Ben.

“That’s it,” Ben stepped forward to stand next to her, turning his gaze from her face to the cave across the field.

They stood there for a moment, watching the grass sway as a light breeze made its way across the plains. An almost magnetic pull, the pull of the Force, tugged them to start toward the cave.

They had walked in silence for several minutes when Ben came to a halt. Rey kept her pace for a few more steps before noticing. She turned to face him, one hand on her hip and the other holding onto the strap of her staff that draped over her shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

Ben’s eyes were focused on the cave behind her. He frowned. Not just the straight, unmoving stone face Rey had grown accustomed to, but an actual frown that sent creases to his forehead and narrowed his eyes. 

“Not sure. Something feels… Not quite wrong, but not right either.”

Rey turned her head back to the caves, her body following close behind. Closing her eyes, she let her mind reach out. She could feel it too. It was hard to decipher, an odd sense of almost calm, yet unease. She let it wash over her for a moment, then turned back to Ben.

“What is that?” Rey’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling we’ll find out soon,” he held out his hand for her to take as he walked forward.

“Tell me a story,” Rey said as she intertwined their fingers.

Ben laughed. “A story?”

“Yeah. Something to pass the time,” she smiled.

Ben sighed. He thought for a moment, then looked down at her.

“I did say I’d tell you what happened on Exegol.”

They began to walk.

*

_Ben pressed a shaky hand to her abdomen. He closed his eyes and concentrated more than he had even concentrated on anything in his life. His breathing was deep and as steady as he could manage at the moment. He let the Force take over. He could feel it flowing between them, but he didn’t dare open his eyes until he felt another hand resting on his._

_They snapped open and he looked down to see Rey’s eyes fluttering open, an almost shocked look on her face as she straightened up. He didn’t move his hands, almost afraid she would break if he did._

_“Ben” Rey’s smile was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen._

_He felt the corners of his mouth curl up as she raised her hand to his face, almost touching it._

_“Rey.” He leaned into her hand._

_Then without thinking, he was pulling her closer. Noses touching, not looking away. Then lips pressed against each other, eyes closed. He smiled against her lips, then she pulled away. His smile grew into a grin as he watched her. He counted the freckles that dusted her cheeks and her nose. He could spend hours just looking at her. But the distance just wouldn’t do._

_Ben pulled her back to him and kissed her again. He worked at it a little harder this time, moving his hand from her waist to her back to pull her against him. He felt her hand move back into his hair and he didn’t want to let go._

_He didn’t want to let go but he knew. He knew what was coming, he could feel it. Feel himself slipping away. He reluctantly pulled away from her. It must have shown on his face because he could see something in her eyes, something he didn’t have time to register before his eyes were closed and he was lying on the ground. And then, he was somewhere else._

_Ben didn’t recognize his surroundings at first. Everything was blanketed in a bluish grey haze that gradually disappeared as he turned in circles, taking in everything. He was in a small room. In one corner sat a rocking chair next to a side table. In another sat a bed, much too small for him now. He had outgrown it years ago. The now familiar furnishings of his childhood bedroom were washed in a soft yellow glow from the lamp on the side table. He stood in the middle of the room and nervously ran a hand through his hair as he waited. For what, he didn’t know. Then he heard it._

_“Ben,” the voice made him flinch. He knew who it was but didn’t dare look._

_“Turn around, Ben.”_

_He turned to face his uncle._

_“Uncle Luke,” he whispered._

_The two stared at each other, almost daring the other to make the first move._

_“I meant what I said. On Crait,” Luke broke the silence._

_“I didn’t,” Ben said._

_“I already knew that, but it’s nice to hear you admit it,” Luke chuckled._

_Ben shuffled his feet uncomfortably. Deep down, he knew he wasn’t directly responsible for Luke dying, but he definitely hadn’t helped by deciding to attack the Resistance on Crait._

_“I’m sorry I failed you,” Ben didn’t know what else he could say._

_“I think we both failed each other,” Luke locked his eyes on Ben’s._

_“You were scared.”_

_“You were, too. You were being controlled by Snoke and I was too late in seeing what was really going on. I didn’t see it until long after you had left the temple. Months later.”_

_“I want… I want to know. If you had seen sooner, if you had known what was happening to me… would you have done things differently?” Ben clenched his fist, not quite ready for an answer._

_“Yes.” That was all Luke needed to say and it was all Ben needed to hear._

_“Where am I?” Ben asked after a short silence._

_“I’ll let her tell you,” Luke smiled._

_“Who?” It was too late, Luke had already vanished._

_Ben stood there, perplexed. Both at the brief conversation he’d just had with his uncle, and at how abruptly it had ended._

_“Ben,” a voice from behind made him turn to face the new visitor._

_“Mom,” Ben’s voice cracked._

_Leia had appeared behind him. He blinked back tears as he sank to his knees. His mother stood in front of him, taking his face in her hands. He let a tear slip down his cheek as he closed his eyes and raised his hands to circle them around her wrists. He held them there for a moment, then looked up at her face._

_He hadn't ever expected a reunion with his mother, but he'd thought about it once or twice. He had thought she would have been mad. Or at least a frown. But when he looked up, he was met with a soft smile and closed eyes. He let her come closer, letting go of her wrists and wrapping his arms around her waist. Leia pulled him against her, one hand running through his hair. He pressed his face into her stomach and let himself be held by her for the first time in years._

_“What is this place?” Ben asked as he slowly pulled away._

_”What does it look like to you?” Leia tilted his chin up with her fingers._

_“It looks like… my old bedroom. In Hanna City.”_

_“Does it? I can only see you. We’re in your mind, not mine.” Leia chuckled as she took a step back to let Ben stand._

_“What am I supposed to do now? Am I dead?” He didn’t really want to know the answer to that question._

_“No, you’re not dead. Not yet. You get to choose. You can come with me and the rest of your family. Or you can stay and build a new one. With Rey or with whomever you choose.”_

_Rey._

_Ben knew it would be Rey. It would always be Rey. He would let nothing get in the way of them again. Not the Dark Side, not the Light, not the Resistance, not whatever would be left of the First Order. Not even whatever was happening to him right now._

_“How do I go back?” Not that he wanted to leave his mother, but he needed to get back to Rey. He wouldn’t let her be alone. Not again. He had felt her die, had felt her Force signature be torn away from his own. He knew what it felt like and he couldn't do that to her._

_“Don’t you worry about that. Your choice is made, now you must let us help you get there.”_

_Ben had no idea what that meant, but didn’t question it. “How much time do I have?”_

_“Not much left now.”_

_“Mom…” he let out a sob._

_An almost sad smile crept across her face as she reached up to touch his cheek._

_“I’m sorry.” Ben leaned into her hand. “For everything I put you through.”_

_“I’m sorry, too. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. We both weren’t, your father and I. We should have listened to Luke, we should have listened to YOU. You were right there and we didn’t listen until you were already gone.”_

_“It’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”_

_“Don’t do that. It wasn't your fault either. Snoke was in your mind from the beginning, I know that now. I just wish I had known it sooner.” Leia’s hand began to tremble against his cheek. He pulled it down to hold in his own._

_“Even with him in my head, even after everything he did to me, I still gave in and chose to follow him. I chose to believe you had given up on me.”_

_“I never did. WE never did. Even when I was so tired and wanted to give up, when I tried to tell myself there was no hope left for you, it never seemed to stick.”_

_They both had tears in their eyes now. Ben pulled his mother toward him and gave her a proper hug. She wrapped her arms around him, holding her son as tight as she could before it was time for him to leave her again. This time, though, she would make sure to be there if and when he needed her._

_Ben could feel himself slowly slipping out of the current state he was in, somewhere between life and death. He held Leia out at arms length and met her gaze._

_“Mom…”_

_“I know, sweetheart,” Leia smiled. She didn’t need him to say that he loved her, she just simply knew. Just like he knew the words he’d heard since before he could remember. “Now go. Rey needs you. That girl, she'll try to be strong all the time. Remind her that she doesn't need to be. That it's okay to need or want help sometimes. That goes for you, too.”_

_"I will," Ben nodded._

_Leia stretched up on her toes but still wasn’t nearly tall enough, so she pulled him down by the shoulders and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then she was gone._

_Ben watched as the room around him seemed to dissolve back into that bluish grey haze. First the ceiling, then the walls, then the furniture. When all that was left was the floor, he closed his eyes and let himself be pulled away by the unseen force trying to bring him back to life, back to Rey._

_“Ben. Please, I need you,” he heard a voice whisper._

_His eyes shifted under the lids for a moment as he registered the voice as belonging to Rey, then they opened. He was lying on his back, Rey holding onto his hand and hovering over him._

_“That’s nice to hear,” Ben smiled as she pulled him up. “My mother was here, wasn’t she? Luke too?”_

_“And... your grandfather. He said he'd like to speak with you soon."_

_He looked down. The revelation that he had been hearing Palpatine his whole life instead of his grandfather had left him with a strange hollowed out feeling. WHy would Anakin choose now to reveal himself? Why not years ago, before any of this ever happened?_

_A warm hand on his face brought him out of his thoughts. He met her concerned gaze._

_"Are you alright?" Her thumb gently caressed his cheek._

_Ben nodded and she let out a laugh of relief as she leaned forward to kiss him. Ben wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. After a year of wanting to kiss her, since that damned elevator and everything that followed, he decided that from that moment on, he would take every opportunity he got._

*

“Ben,” Rey laughed as he revealed this last bit of the story to her. She had since wiped a few stray tears from her face that had fallen at the mention of Luke and Leia appearing to him, and at what Leia had told him about her.

“You think I’m kidding?” Ben stopped walking, making her stop as well with his grip on her hand.

She looked up at him, almost defiantly.

“I never said that.”

Ben smirked and stepped toward her, closing the space between them. He wound his free arm around her waist, both to ensure she couldn’t get away and to pull her closer, then released her hand and brought his up to the side of her neck. She rolled her eyes and smiled as he leaned down and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bending backward slightly as he angled his body over hers as he continued to kiss her, his lips parting slightly. While their other kisses had been short and sweet, this one was more possessive. It left her a little out of breath.

The strange feeling coming up from the caves made him break his concentration on her lips and look up. He had been too focused on remembering the details of what had happened to him to realize they were now just yards away from the mouth of the cave. He narrowed his eyes as he released Rey.

“I still can’t figure out what that is,” she whispered.

“Looks like we’re about to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn’t that a nice story? Not gonna lie, I made myself cry a little bit while writing it. A Ben/Leia reconciliation was something I really wanted to happen but we never got it. So I wrote it instead. It’s important to me that Ben touches as many bases as possible when it comes to trying to apologize for his past, especially with Leia.
> 
> (Not gonna pretend I didn’t take a little inspiration from Harry Potter-in Deathly Hallows when he’s in King’s Cross Station with Dumbledore)
> 
> All my info on Dantooine is from a quick read of the Wookiepedia page, so I apologize if anything is incorrect in this chapter or in any coming chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite Force dyad goes cave exploring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this update taking so long, quarantine life is weird to say the least. Also, for this very first part of the chapter, just think end of TLJ and you'll get to visual I was going for. Enjoy!

There was something in the air. Something in the Force. They could both feel it seeping out through the cracks between the rocks that blocked the entrance to the cave.

Ben watched Rey take a few steps toward the cave and raise her arm, sighing.

“Lifting rocks,” she let out a breath of a laugh as she closed her eyes.

She reached for the Force, letting it twist around her fingers and through the air. Taking a deep breath, she felt for the stones, tugging on the energy wrapped around them. She opened her eyes and pulled hard, watching as the rocks lifted into the air, moving away from the cave and all around them.

Ben frowned as she turned towards him, her hand slowly lowering to her side and the rocks with it. With the barrier removed, he could feel the disturbance flowing from the cave entrance more easily. A life form, maybe? He recalled having once read that large creatures lived in the caves of Dantooine. Or perhaps it was just the concentration of the Force energy from the kyber crystals in an enclosed space. The cave on Ilum hadn’t felt like this, had it? Maybe it felt the same, it had been so long since he had been inside that he couldn’t really remember. Whatever it was, it was tugging at both of them, beckoning them to come closer.

He pushed it away, taking a step towards Rey with a smirk. “Trying to impress me with those rocks?”

“Depends. Did it work?” She grinned up at him, holding out her hand to him. He took it, raising her knuckles to his lips.

“Maybe,” he murmured, gently pressing his lips down to her fingers. 

“Then yes I was,” Rey said smugly as he lowered their hands to rest between them.

Ben turned his head to look at the rocks now littering the ground until he spotted one big enough. He pulled her along with him and sat on the large stone, gesturing for her to sit beside him.

“What do you know about kybers?” Ben held her hand in both of his on his lap as she slipped the strap of her staff from her shoulder, resting it on the ground against the rock.

“It powers the lightsaber. ‘The crystal is the heart of the blade.’ I think the only crystal I’ve seen was from this one, when it was broken,” Rey pulled Anakin’s saber from her belt and held it in her free hand.

Ben looked down at his hands, still holding onto hers. His hair hung over his eyes, blocking Rey from looking into them. He didn’t particularly like thinking about that day. The day he had killed Snoke; the day he had yelled at her to let go, to let the past die. The day they had broken his grandfather’s lightsaber in a petty tug of war that had put them at odds again for the better part of a year.

“Rey, I-”

“Hey. It was a bad day for everyone, okay?” She cut him off, sensing where his train of thought was going. She returned the saber to its spot on her hip and reached up to touch his cheek, turning his head to make him look at her. A pang of guilt bloomed in her chest. She hadn’t meant to bring up that day, but they were bound to stumble across the subject sooner or later.

“I should take my own advice, huh. Let the past die,” he lifted a hand to grip her wrist at his cheek. 

“No, Ben. The past is how we grow. How we learn from our mistakes. Don’t let it die, not even the bad parts. If it gets too hard to handle, you put those away for a while and pull them out when it’s time to use them. But never die, at least not until you have nothing more to learn from your mistakes. Which, from what I’ve seen, doesn’t happen very often,” Rey twisted her body toward his, taking his face in both her hands.

Ben closed his eyes, taking a long, shaky breath. His hands circled her wrists as she sighed and pulled him toward her, pressing their foreheads together.

“I don’t know how to do this, Rey. I don’t know if I can,” he whispered.

Rey ran her fingers down his cheek, tracing the scar that was no longer there. She felt the fear, the anxiety, the longing, the _light_ , the _hope_ , the desire to do _good_ (even if that part was mostly just for her), radiate from him as she circled her arms around his shoulders. Ben buried his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him.

“We do it together,” Rey ran her fingers through his hair, holding onto him as tight as she could.

That was the way it should have been, really. All this time. The two of them, together. Helping each other through it all. Through all the lonely nights spent in the Jakku desert and all the nightmares and all the pulls coming from the darkness.

Rey couldn’t help but wonder if they had known of their connection sooner, this thing binding them together across space and time, would they have found each other? They had always been connected, from the very beginning, she knew that now. But if one of them had figured it out sooner, before Snoke had fully sunk his claws into Ben, before that night at the Jedi temple, could some -if not all- of this been avoided? All the death and destruction and pain spread across the galaxy brought by Snoke and the First Order, could that have ended sooner? Would it have even started?

“You’re thinking very loudly,” Ben mumbled into her shoulder. He squeezed her middle and leaned back, resting a hand on the curve of her waist and raising the other to her cheek, which she leaned into.

“Maybe _I_ should take my own advice,” she said with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah. Maybe,” he leaned to press his lips to her forehead. Her eyes fluttered closed, sighing. She let her mind go quiet for a few seconds, ignoring the cave, ignoring the wind that had picked up a little as they had sat there, ignoring any and all thoughts about anything except for this moment.

It didn’t last long. A gust of wind ran over the mouth of the cave, creating a sharp whistling sound that made them both jump slightly and turn towards it, Ben’s hand falling from her cheek down to his lap.

“I think you’d better finish that crystal lesson now,” Rey said, eyes fixed on the cave and again focused on their task. She let her hands fall from where they rested on his shoulders and scooted back a little so as not to get distracted again, but let her eyes move back to him.

“Right,” Ben cleared his throat. He thought for a moment, trying to remember what he had been taught about Kyber crystals all those years ago.

“You were right when you said it powers the weapon. It’s more than that, though. ‘The crystal is the heart of the blade. The heart is the crystal of the Jedi.’ It’s meant for you. You don’t just grab any crystal, and I can’t pick one for you. Only you can know which crystal is yours. You have to follow your instincts to find it. The Force will help guide you to it,” he said. 

Rey nodded and turned her gaze to the cave. “So we go in and just… let the Force guide us to our crystals?”

“To sum it up, yes,” Ben chuckled. “But we need to be on guard. There’s most likely going to be something in the way, some sort of trial. And we may need to split up.”

“No.” Rey’s eyes snapped back to him, a determined gaze -almost a glare- that might have taken someone else by surprise. But this was Ben and he was well versed in her facial expressions by now.

“Okay, we won’t split up,” Ben reached for her hand and swiped his thumb across her knuckles. “I just mean that the crystals might not be near each other.”

Rey took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, then looked back at him. “I don’t care if they’re on opposite sides of the cave. I’m not leaving you and you’d better not leave me.”

The last few words were accentuated by her finger poking into his chest. She felt vulnerable. She was still very rattled by the events that had taken place on Exegol. Even though it had only lasted a minute or two, she had never felt that powerless, when he had fallen over; when she thought she had lost him forever. Rey never wanted to feel like that again. The fear that he had been taken away from her when they had just found each other. No, Rey wasn’t about to let that happen again.

She must have been thinking too loudly again because the corners of Ben’s mouth turned up ever so slightly in a sad sort of way, his head tilted to the side.

“I won’t leave you, Rey,” he closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Her hands slid under his jacket, gripping the fabric of his shirt against the backside of his ribs.

“What did you mean, when you said there’d be some sort of trial?” she asked after a few seconds of breathing deeply into Ben’s shoulder in an attempt to regain her cool.

“It depends. Sometimes it has to do with some sort of lesson the Jedi has to learn, like patience. But sometimes it’s just… a trial. Some obstacle that’s in the way, like being super high up on the cave wall,” Ben’s hand ran up and down her spine, attempting to calm her a little.

It seemed to work, he could almost _hear_ her heartbeat regulating as she pulled back, eyes screwed shut again.

“Hey, look at me,” he raised a hand up under her chin, tilting her head up as she opened her eyes. “You alright?”

“Yes, just… promise you’ll stay near me,” she said after another deep breath.

“I promise,” he brought his hand from her back, up to her face to push back strands of hair that had fallen in the wind.

“Then let’s go find some crystals,” she gave a half smile as she reached for her staff.

Refocused on the task at hand, they stood and made their way into the cave. As they walked, the ground slowly sloped downward, deeper under the hill. The walls were smooth, rounded. The tunnel twisted and turned the deeper they went, eventually cutting out the light from the outside world.

Ben and Rey both held out and ignited their sabers, illuminating the walls that were growing further and further apart until they reached a cavern. Roughly half the size of a Star Destroyer hangar, the space was dotted with pillars of stalagmites and stalactites so old they had long since joined together to form pillars throughout the large room. Veins of _something_ , maybe crystals, lit the space in a soft blue light just bright enough that they could turn off their sabers. On either side of the cavern sat more tunnels, likely leading to more caverns, though Rey felt drawn to a particular tunnel on the far left side of the room.

She looked to Ben, who had wandered a little further in than she had. She quietly laughed to herself as he turned around in circles a few times, his eyes wide, looking at everything in the cavern. His eyes landed on her, a soft smile on his face as he returned to her side.

“What?” he ran a hand through his hair.

“I think it’s down there,” Rey gestured toward the tunnel.

Ben turned toward the tunnel, closing his eyes and focusing on the Force moving all around him. Where it was pulling him. Funnily enough, it wanted him to go in that same direction.

“I feel it too,” he said, looking back at her.

Her hand found his and as they walked, she started to wonder what was going to happen when they would reach their crystals. What sort of trial would be there for her? She could easily climb, that wouldn’t be an issue if that were the case. And she knew all about waiting, having patience wasn’t really something Rey needed to learn any more than she already had.

“Rey,” Ben’s voice was low.

“Hmm?” she turned to look at him.

“Just relax.”

Rey took a slow, meditative breath. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed her grip on Ben’s hand tightening the more they wound through the curves of the tunnel, getting closer to the next cavern, the blue light from both the walls and their sabers illuminating their way. She loosened her grip, letting him lace his fingers between hers to relieve some of the tension.

The tug on both of them from the Force grew stronger as these walls too grew further apart, revealing another room. Much smaller than the main cavern, but still large enough to easily fit the Falcon inside, the same formations of pillars scattered around with newer stalactites and stalagmites still growing from the cave floor and ceiling. More of the same veins of light stretched across the walls and up to the ceiling, even through the pillars and formations.

Here, though, there was something else. Or at least something they hadn’t been looking for in the other room. Under the light of the sabers, they could see dull glints of light reflecting off the walls, following the pathways of the veins. Crystals.

“Now we look. You’ll know which one is yours,” Ben said.

He released Rey’s hand, stepping forward with his saber outstretched. He felt drawn to a certain particularly large stalagmite towards the middle of the room. 

Rey hesitated, looking around the room for a moment. She closed her eyes, letting the Force steer her in the direction she needed to go. To both their surprise, she opened her eyes and found herself walking in the same direction as Ben, to the same formation in the middle of the room.

As they got closer, they could now see why. Nestled together at the top of the stalagmite was not just one, but two crystals. In fact, it almost looked like a single extra large crystal had been split into two.

Crystals that were calling to them.

Ben and Rey stared. At the crystals, then at each other, then back at the crystals.

“Is that… normal?” Rey moved to the other side of the formation, facing Ben. She studied the crystals. The ridges and bumps on the surface, the barely-there gap between them, how one stuck out just a little further upward than the other.

“Our crystals growing right next to each other? Or the fact that there’s nothing stopping us from taking them and leaving?” His eyes didn’t leave the crystals as he spoke.

“Both.”

Ben turned his gaze to her now. “No. Something’s off.”

That strange feeling was back, though now Ben knew it had nothing to do with kyber crystals. There was something else waiting for them.

“Could the crystals have to do with being a dyad?”

“Possibly, they do seem to be halves of a single larger crystal.”

“I noticed that too.”

They stood in silence for a moment, both studying the crystals. The one sticking out just a little more seemed to beckon to Rey. All the crystals around them gave off a faint glow, but in her eyes, this one was much brighter than all the rest.

“I just… pull it out?” Rey looked up at Ben. He was so focused on the crystals, her voice startled him a little.

“Yeah. Nothing’s stopped us so far, so I don’t see why not,” he chuckled lightly.

Rey’s eyes shifted down to the formation, then back to Ben.

“Together,” she said.

He smiled and raised his hand, his fingers closing around the shorter of the two crystals while Rey did the same to hers. Their eyes met and they nodded in unison, pulling their respective crystals out of the vein from which they had grown.

The second the crystals left the formation, they began to glow even brighter, humming with the Force in their hands. Rey closed her fist around her crystal, raising it to her heart, then placed it carefully in her pocket. She rounded the stalagmite and joined Ben, who was staring at his crystal, rolling it between his fingers. He noticed her waiting and looked up, closing his hand around it.

“Let’s get out of here before something _does_ stop us,” she said, taking his free hand.

They left the room behind.

“I remember doing this for my first saber. I went into the cave on Ilum and retrieved a crystal with a few of the other Jedi trainees. Had to wait for a lake to freeze over so I could get to my crystal. It was on an island in the middle of it,” Ben said after a few minutes of walking. “I never thought I’d be doing this again.”

“Didn’t you have to get another for your red saber?” Rey asked quietly, almost afraid to bring up his old weapon. He looked over at her.

“No. You can get a red crystal naturally, but they’re extremely rare. Most darksiders take someone else's saber and bleed it; or use their old crystal, which is what I did. Too much, as a matter of fact. It cracked. Did you ever notice the blade would crackle more than a normal saber?”

Rey nodded. She had in fact noticed that Kylo Ren’s lightsaber had been unstable, as it had been very near her throat on more than a few occasions. “Is that why? Because the crystal was cracked?”

“Yes. The pressure inside the hilt was too much for it to handle. That’s also why it had the exhaust ports. I’ll admit, if I thought about it too much I would get a little nervous it would blow up in my face one day,” he chuckled. They rounded a corner.

“So… you used your first crystal for your second saber, then? What… color was it? Before you turned it?” Rey was careful, thinking over every word before she said it. 

Which he could sense, of course. He shoved his crystal in his pocket and stopped walking, pulling her to a halt with his grip on her hand and turning to face her.

“Rey, are you worried that talking about my old lightsabers is going to trigger me?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. She bit down on her lip, not sure what to say. 

“You do realise that you’re just about the last person in the whole galaxy who could trigger me, right? I couldn’t be mad at you even if I tried. And believe me, I’ve tried. I don’t think there’s anything you could say or do to me to make me truly angry with you,” Ben rested his now free hand on the side of her neck, his thumb stroking the corner of her jaw.

“I know, I’m sorry,” she sighed. And she really did know this, but old habits die hard. “I just- I don’t want to make you talk about anything you don’t want to.”

“A lightsaber is hardly a taboo topic of discussion. And I don’t want you to feel like you can’t ask about my past, alright?” The corners of his mouth turned up in a soft smile.

She met his gaze, leaning into his hand that had made its way from her neck to her cheek.

“I mean it. About any of it. Good or bad, I’ll tell you everything. Anything you want to know. I’m tired of hiding, Rey. I’ll give you anything you ask.” He let go of her hand and moved to her waist.

“Ben…”

Anything she asked? He had already given her life back to her. _He_ came back to her. What more could she ask for? And what more would she want to know that she didn’t know already?

Rey didn’t know what to say to his declaration. So she said nothing. Instead she wrapped her hand around his forearm and stretched up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. He slid his arm behind her waist, pulling her closer. She broke away and returned her heels to the ground, but stayed in his arms for a few seconds longer.

“Let’s go,” Rey reached for his hand once again, entwining their fingers together.

“It was blue, by the way. My first one,” he said after they resumed walking back through the tunnel. “And I technically didn’t build a second saber, I just modified the first one to be able to hold the cracked crystal. Took days. Burned my hand pretty good.”

Rey was about to respond when they turned another corner. Another wave of that strange feeling hit them, stronger than it had been before. It no longer had that oddly calming factor to it, the feeling in the air was now just plain eerie. It was definitely a life form, Ben was sure of it now. But what the life form was, they would have to wait to find out.

Ben’s grip on her hand tightened as they came closer to the main cavern. The walls grew further apart and Rey found herself pressed against him, her free hand holding onto his arm.

They entered the cavern and halted a few steps in. Rey let go of his arm, taking another step further than he. Ben dropped her hand as she turned to look at him.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Me too.”

Her head turned, eventually followed by her feet, scanning the side of the cave to her left. For the most part, it seemed unchanged from when they had left it, not long before. Not even an hour had passed since they had left the room. Nothing had toppled over, nothing had fallen from the ceiling. But what Rey focused on was the body.

A giant body of some sort of creature she had never seen before, either dead or almost, judging by the grayish discoloration of its leathery skin. Four long legs curled underneath the body, with another appendage curled above. It sat in a back corner of the cavern, atop a mound of dirt. It must have come in from the other side of the cave while they had retrieved their crystals.

Rey took a step back, right into Ben’s chest. He had been rooted to the spot, busy tracing the veins of light with his eyes, searching the other side of the room. He looked down at her in surprise as she reached back to grip his arm.

“Ben… what the _kriff_ is that?” she whispered so quietly he had to tilt his head down to hear her.

She raised her arm and pointed. He followed her gaze and froze when he saw it, the creature towards the back of the cave. As he looked, the thing _twitched_ and _stretched_ its long leg that seemed to be protruding from it’s head. Rey gasped, her fingers digging deeper into Ben’s arm.

“Kinrath,” he breathed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the tunnel they came from and around the first corner.

“Listen to me,” he said, all but pushing her against the wall. His hands raised to rest by her head on the wall, leaning down to be eye level with her, caging her there. For a split second Rey let herself forget they were in a cave, forget there was some creature waiting for them just around the corner, forget that there was a tiny glint of panic in Ben’s eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head slightly, then met his gaze.

“What was that?”

“It’s a kinrath. Listen, those things, they’re blind. But they can sense heat, that’s how they get around and track you. Stay as far away from it and be as quiet as possible so it can’t pick up on you. That fifth leg, the one on its head, it’s poisonous. There’s only one, and by the looks of it, it's very old, so we can handle it if we need to,” he lowered his hands to his side, looking back towards the cavern. “Let’s hope it’s just sleeping. It might already know we’re here”

“How do you know all this?” Rey took a half step forward, distancing herself from the wall.

“I, uh… I spent a lot of time reading when I was younger, before I went to train at the temple. To pass time during my mother’s senate meetings,” Ben turned back to her, a shy smile creeping across his face.

“Good thing you remembered, then. So what do we do?”

“If you need to, go for the head. That’ll both kill it and get rid of the poison factor. Stay against the wall, but don’t let it corner you. Have your saber ready. But do NOT turn it on unless it tries to attack.”

Rey felt for the weapon at her side, glancing to the room and then back to him. A thought popped into her head.

“Those things, can they climb?”

“Yes, but not very high. It won’t be able to get further than halfway up the wall.”

“Great,” Rey huffed, a hand moving to the strap of her staff at her shoulder. Even after a year, she was still more comfortable with using it as a weapon than she was using a lightsaber. Still, she knew a saber would be more effective against the creature.

Ben pulled his saber from his belt and jerked his head toward the cavern. “We need to hurry. Ready?”

Rey inhaled deeply then nodded. Ben extended his arm to the entrance.

“After you.”

Rey squared her shoulders, put one foot in front of the other, and walked ahead of him, back into the cavern. Her back against the cave wall, her eyes immediately went to the spot the kinrath had just occupied, then scanned the rest of the room.

 _Ben, it’s awake. It moved._ She sent the thought to him, even though he was just a few paces behind her, rather than draw unwanted attention from the creature that now stood at full height in the middle of the room.

_Move slowly._

Rey gauged the distance between her and her destination. They had come out of the tunnel closest to the entrance of the cave, but the main cavern was huge. And the kinrath was on the move again.

The creature must have been very old. Or very tired. It moved carefully, as one would expect from something that was born blind, it’s legs moving one at a time over rocks and cave formations seemingly back in the direction it had come from. The poisonous appendage on its head curled in and out, as if testing its ability to strike.

Ben glanced at Rey, urging her to keep moving. As she did, she accidentally nudged a rock with her foot. Anywhere else, the sound wouldn’t have been very loud. But here in the cave, the noise echoed in the silence. The kinrath turned its head towards them, followed by the rest of its body.

Rey looked up at Ben, her eyes wide.

 _Run._ He told her.

She took off, him following close behind. But it was too late. 

The kinrath scrambled on its four long legs toward them, effectively cutting them off about halfway to the cave exit. It got close enough to force them apart, Ben behind it and Rey in front. She pulled her saber from her side, looking at Ben through the creature’s legs. He nodded and they both ignited their sabers just as the poisonous fifth appendage curled in preparation to strike in Rey’s direction.

Desperate for a distraction, Ben sliced at a back leg before it could make its move. This turned its attention away from Rey, but in retaliation, the kinrath raised its other back leg just before Rey was able to take a few steps back to jump high enough to reach the head.

She heard it before she felt it. The sickening sound of flesh ripping beneath something jagged and sharp. She felt it before she saw it. A dull ache blossomed across her chest, starting from her left shoulder and dragging down to her ribcage on the right side. She looked just in time to see the kinrath dragging long claws across Ben’s chest.

“BEN!” Rey _screamed_ as she watched him sink to his knees.

She jumped, lunging for the poisonous appendage as it started to curl upward again and brought her saber down where it connected to the creature’s head. She then cut the head off in another clean sweep, letting it fall to the ground before turning all her attention to Ben.

Her heart stopped for a moment as she saw him still kneeling, doubled over. That same feeling she had felt on Exegol crept into her stomach, that frantic hopelessness, that fear that she was about to lose him.

He clutched at his chest as she hurried over to him, the ache in her own chest more confusing as she examined his. There was nothing on her own body to indicate any injury that would explain what she was feeling. However, two long gashes stretched over his body, from his left shoulder down to his right rib cage.

Ben tried to stand but stumbled, Rey rushing forward to help steady him. Blood from the gashes seeped onto her hands and into her clothes as she realized the wounds hadn’t cauterized. She was so used to lightsaber and blaster injuries that wouldn’t bleed, not nearly as much as this. They needed to get out of the cave and fast. The cuts weren’t too deep, but there was too much blood in the way and she was too panicked at the moment to be able to heal him any more than to numb the pain a bit. Rey took off her vest and pressed it against his chest to start the process of slowing the blood flow.

“Ben, I need you to stand,” she pleaded. She was shaking now.

“Yeah, give me a second,” he grumbled. He was able to stand with her help, slinging an arm around her shoulders in order to steady himself. His other arm took on her task of holding her vest to the wounds so she could help hold him up. His legs had been untouched so he could still walk, albeit a little slower than she would have prefered in that moment.

Rey managed to fish out the comlink Lando had given her. Once they were close enough to the entrance of the cave to send out a signal, she commed the old pilot.

“Lando, we need you to land as close to the cave as you can. And hurry,” she said into the device.

“You got it, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hurt me. That last scene is kinda rushed, I know, I just can't write fight scenes very well. Guys I tried so hard to not make this chapter sappy, but our two lovebirds have issues and they gotta talk about them sooner or later. I guess it's up to you to decide if it’s sappy or not.
> 
> *Both the crystal caves and kinraths, as far as my knowledge goes, only appear in the Old Republic video games as of right now. I have not played these games, so I definitely took some creative liberty with them.
> 
> *Coming at you with another Harry Potter-y element with Ben and Rey's crystals. The inspiration came from the twin wand cores shared by Voldemort and Harry. I got to thinking that since Ben and Rey are a dyad, one in the Force, maybe their crystals would be one as well. I'm not sure if I'll make their sabers be the same color yet, as I'm still debating on what color a redeemed Ben Solo would have. (Feel free to comment your opinion on that)
> 
> *Fans of The Clone Wars may recognize that everything Ben says about kyber crystals is based on what Ahsoka Tano tells a group of younglings before they go find their own crystals, including his own trial from his first crystal being based on one of the trials shown in the episode.
> 
> *Last note- I have not been able to read the Rise of Kylo Ren comics yet, but I have seen parts of them on tumblr. I try to make this story as accurate as I can based on what I've seen, but I realize I don't know the full story, so if I get anything wrong about his backstory please forgive me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just... Lots of feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter! I'll put more info as to why in the end notes.

Not even five minutes had passed when the Falcon landed in the tall grass near the cave entrance. Ben let himself be ushered aboard by Rey, BB-8 zipping around them. He used a little extra Force to help keep himself upright, so as to not tip both he and Rey over as he clutched the vest tightly to his chest. The extra exertion in his weakened state had caused his heart rate to rise, which only resulted in more blood, which in turn made him a little lightheaded at the loss. It didn’t hurt as much as it had before, and though he was glad for that, he couldn’t tell if it was the adrenaline pumping through his body or if Rey had tried to heal him. Just a few days ago, he would have used the pain to make him stronger, would have fueled it into rage and then power. But now, he just… didn’t feel the need. Or the desire to do so.

They had just made it into the ship and around the corner to the main hold when Lando stepped out of the cockpit. He took one look at Ben and briskly walked past them.

“Sit,” he commanded before turning the corner and out of sight, followed by the droid.

Rey discarded her staff and Ben skipped the bench to sit on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him. He let her pull his free arm from his jacket and leaned his head against the wall as she gently pried her vest out of his hand and away from his chest. He inhaled sharply through his teeth as the fabric lifted away from the wound.

“Sorry,” Rey set the vest on the floor. She motioned for his jacket.

“It’s fine,” he pulled off the other sleeve with a grimace. “It doesn’t hurt too bad.”

She tossed his jacket to the side. He watched as she scooted closer to him and very slowly peeled the torn edges of fabric of his shirt away from the wounds. After being pressed so tightly, the fibers had latched onto the raw skin and muscle; it stung as the contact was broken.

“This needs to come off,” Rey tugged on his sleeve. As he leaned forward, she carefully lifted the shirt over his head. She held the shirt in her lap, ducking her head down as she fidgeted with one of the rips in the cloth for a moment.

“Rey,” he raised a finger under her chin and tipped her face upward to make her look him in the eye. “You’re shaking.”

He had felt it in her fingers as the shirt had come off. Her eyes were wide with worry. Even her voice shook as she spoke. “I can’t do it. I can’t heal it. I’ve been trying, but I can’t do it. It’s not working.”

He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “If it wasn’t working, I’d be in a lot more pain.”

The look in her eyes softened slightly as she inspected one of the gashes. Thick, jagged lines spanning from his left shoulder, down to his right side. They weren’t deep enough to cause any internal damage, but had torn past the skin and into the muscle underneath. Bruises were rapidly forming around the edges and they were still bleeding. She wadded up and pressed his discarded shirt to the wounds. “I’m probably thinking about it too hard.”

“It’s a meditation technique, isn’t it? I had no idea what I was doing on Exegol, the Force just sort of took over.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to heal me, you know. I’ve had much worse than this,” he grasped her still shaky hand at his chest.

“I know, I gave you a few of them,” Rey almost smiled, the corners of her mouth quirked upward for just a moment. She met his eyes again. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s not like I didn't deserve it.”

It was quiet for a moment, his words hanging in the air. Rey looked down and focused her eyes on her hand holding the shirt, watching as Ben pressed small circles into that same hand with his thumb, a wordless affirmation that it was alright; that he had long since forgiven her for scarring him; that by his actions and stubbornness towards her, he had indeed deserved what he had gotten; that she, by believing in him, had already healed him in more ways than he could express. There were so many things he had done wrong, and quite a few regarding her. But having her here, with him, was more than he could have ever asked for.

The silence was of course interrupted by BB-8, beeping and whistling about getting ready to leave and rolling his way toward them. They both turned their heads and Ben released Rey’s hand to pat the droid.

“Let me try again?” Rey suddenly straightened and pulled the shirt away.

He turned back to her and nodded. “It’s okay if it doesn’t work the way you want.”

Lando returned just as Rey ran her hand across Ben’s chest. He felt another small wave of healing energy flowing from her fingertips. Still not enough to heal completely, but enough to knit some muscle back together and to start closing torn capillaries and veins, further slowing the amount of blood.

Lando handed Rey a medpack and sat on the bench.

“What was in that cave?” he asked after watching Rey open the medpack.

“Kinrath,” Ben held the pack so Rey could find what she needed. 

“I thought kinraths were on Kashyyyk,” Lando leaned forward.

“They’re found on both. Hive kinraths live in the caves here.”

“Huh… Better not tell Chewie, he’ll never set foot planetside here again.”

“Why’s that?” Rey asked, beginning to sort her supplies next to her on the floor.

“It was a long time ago, before Han or I ever met him. I think during the Clone Wars. A group of kinraths tried to attack a group of Wookiees and a clone squad on Kashyyyk. The kinraths were all killed, but Chewie still hates them,” Lando chuckled.

“Can’t imagine why,” Ben grunted.

Rey smiled as she picked a clean cloth out of the medpack and slung it over her shoulder. “Me either.” She stood and looked down at Ben. “I’ll be right back.”

She made her way to the ‘fresher, feeling Ben’s eyes on her as she turned the corner. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the door for just a moment, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down further. She didn’t know why she was still panicking, though the shaking had subsided. Before having assessed the damage, it was understandable. But now that she was aware that the worst thing that could happen right now was Ben getting dizzy and possibly an infection, she needed to just calm down. It would do no good to panic now.

She could no longer feel the ache from his wounds, though a new ache had settled in. One that she couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was still the fear of losing him. She had gained and lost so much in the past year, more than she would have ever thought possible back on Jakku, and now she had just found him. Found something, _someone_ , that felt like home. That belonging she had wanted for her entire life had been somewhat filled by her friends and the Resistance, but now she felt whole, despite the losses she and her friends had faced. Losing him too could very well be the final twist of the knife.

Taking another deep breath, she rinsed the blood from her hands and soaked the cloth in cool water. She returned to the hold to find Ben where she left him, though Lando and BB-8 had disappeared into the cockpit. She knelt next to him and met his gaze.

“Lando’s gone to com Dameron. He’ll take off once he’s made contact,” he told her. He shifted, sitting up a little straighter as Rey brought her hand up to his shoulder and focused her eyes on cleaning the now drying blood away from his skin with the wet cloth in the other hand.

When she didn’t respond, he pulled her hand away. “Rey.”

She looked up. He could feel the anxiety oozing off her, but being able to feel her emotions and knowing the reason behind them were two different things.

“What’s wrong?” He brushed against her jaw with a knuckle, fingers coming to rest on her neck as his thumb caressed her cheek.

The thing about living alone in the desert for the majority of one’s life was there had never been a need to express what one was feeling out loud. This was something Rey had worked at overcoming in the past year. Jumping headfirst into a world of almost constant interaction had been a strange transition, especially when there were people who actually cared for her wellbeing. Expressing herself with words was something she had to learn quickly so as to not unintentionally push her friends away.

But now, she found herself back in those old habits. The words just wouldn’t come out, they barely made sense in her head as she tried to string them together. 

“It’s hard to explain,” she managed after a moment. She resumed cleaning, leaning slightly into his hand still at her cheek.

“Can I look?” 

Her hand stilled for a moment as she looked up. He had been in her head before, of course. But with a motive, looking for some piece of information that would be useful to him, searching for the map to Luke. It had hurt back then; though it had been a gentle nudge compared to Snoke’s torture. Both had crossed boundaries. And while she deeply appreciated his asking permission, those were boundaries she wasn’t about to let anyone cross again, intentional or not.

Which is why she told him no. “I just… I’m not ready for that. Not yet.”

Ben understood. Even as his request to look had left his lips, he knew what her answer would be. Snoke had almost constantly been in his head, looking for weaknesses and exploiting them. Rey’s experiences with having another look inside her head were far less than his, but traumatic all the same. And he had been one of the two perpetrators. Of course things were drastically different now, but when she said no, he didn’t push it. He just continued to move his thumb across her cheek, searching her eyes instead of her mind for any tell of what she was thinking.

“But I can show you?” she said after a moment.

“Whatever you need,” Ben gave a small smile.

This was a more comfortable arrangement. Showing someone a memory or an emotion was easier and much less invasive than that person reading your mind. Straight to the point, without the uncomfortable rifling of thoughts and memories.

Rey inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She concentrated on what she had been feeling. The fear and panic, but the wholeness and sense of belonging as well. She gave it to him, and he gasped a little at the surge of emotions. He was still for a moment, taking it all in.

She opened her eyes and focused again on cleaning his wound, letting him think. She was over halfway done when he spoke again.

“You’re not gonna lose me, Rey,” his hand had since fallen away from her face, but he brought it up to rest on her waist, pulling her just a little closer to him.

She met his gaze as she felt his thumb stroke her side. The way Ben looked at her, with such a soft intensity, made her suddenly very aware of her heartbeat as it sped up slightly in her chest.

“When I was in that pit, I felt you die. Not just a normal death in the Force, though. It felt like half of me was gone. Like it had been ripped away. I’ve felt lots of terrible things in my life, but nothing was as devastating as that moment when I felt you slipping away,” he stopped a moment to take her face in both hands. She gripped his wrists, the cloth still in her hand as she held on.

“I never want to feel that way again, and I hope you never have to. So no, you’re not gonna lose me. Not if I can help it.”

Tears streaked down her face as he poured every positive feeling he’d felt about her in the past year into her head. Reluctant excitement when the bond would open, longing for it –for her– to come back when it would close. The way he would try to count her freckles in those quiet moments when it was just them and the bond. Wondering where she was or what she was doing. Wanting her by his side. The light that had been buried deep inside him, creeping out just a little more each time he saw her. And –he wasn’t sure when this one had started, but it was the most important– a compassion, a _love_ towards her unlike anything he’d ever experienced, not with anyone or anything else.

He had been attracted to her since almost the very beginning, yes. But he wasn’t sure when that initial attraction had turned into something more; nor did he care when it had happened, just that it did.

Ben brushed away her tears with his thumbs and leaned forward as best he could in his current state. “And I already lost you once, I don’t plan on losing you again, if that’s alright with you.”

Rey let out a huff of a laugh through her tears and met him in the middle. She pressed her forehead to his for a moment, then closed the gap.

“I guess that’s fine,” she smiled against his lips.

He pressed them against hers for a long moment, then pulled back. He looked into her eyes and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

They both jumped as the ship shuddered slightly, preparing to take off.

Rey groaned into another laugh, pressing her forehead into his right shoulder.

They sat in a comfortable silence as Rey finished cleaning the wounds. She decided to give herself a little more time to focus before trying to heal again, and instead spread a few bacta patches across Ben’s chest. She hoped that by the time they arrived it would be healed, or that she would be able to finish whatever was left.

Though she felt significantly calmer after showing Ben her thoughts and vice versa, she knew that if there would ever be a time she wouldn’t be affected by them –and the events that had sparked them– in some way, it wouldn’t be for a long time. She knew she had been through a lot, more than most could imagine. But she had Ben.

Ben, who knew what she had gone through. Who had gone through more than _she_ ever had, but who was still there in spite of all of it. Ben, who was there for her in a way no one ever had been. Ben, who loved her, and who she loved in return.

They didn’t need to say it in words. No, the words would come later. They could feel it, which in a way was better. Easier. No fumbling over the right thing or way to say it, just _feeling_ it and all that came with it. The hope, the joy, the admiration, the safety. They felt it through their bond, through that oneness that held them together. There was no room for deception this way, though now there was no need for it. They were free to feel however and whenever they wanted.

Ben moved to the bench. Rey filtered in and out of the room, alternating her time between the cockpit with Lando and small repairs around the ship, checking in on him between each task. He watched her as she fiddled with switches and tightened screws, growing more tired as time stretched on.

“Hey,” he grabbed her hand as she passed him for the fourth time.

She looked to him and gave a half smile.

“Sit with me.”

Rey sighed and sat down next to him. She leaned back against the seat, her head tilted up to the ceiling. Ben turned to look at her, the soft curve of her jaw, the point of her nose.

She felt him staring and her lips turned upward as she looked over to him. “What?”

“You’re tired.”

She turned towards him. “And? I’m tired quite a lot these days.”

“So take a break, go lie down,” Ben squeezed her hand.

She sighed again and looked down at their entwined hands for a few seconds, then met his gaze.

“How do you feel?” she nodded toward his chest.

“Fine, I guess. It’s not finished, but it’s getting there.”

“Good,” Rey stood, still holding onto his hand. He sat there, looking up at her.

“Well, come on,” she pulled on his hand.

He stood slowly, careful to not dislodge any of the bacta pads spread across him. They moved to the crew quarters and sat on a bunk, backs against the wall. Rey rested her head against his right shoulder, careful not to press against his wounds, as he wrapped his arm around her. They laced their fingers together and just sat for several minutes.

Rey was thinking. She was thinking about the conversation inside the cave, about him being tired of hiding. How he said she could ask him anything and how at the time there wasn’t anything she could even think of asking. But now… Now she had something to ask. She just wasn’t sure how to, what words could possibly make it not seem like she was accusing him of something. In the end, she decided to just come out and say it.

Ben could sense she had a question, and was itching to know it. He could have easily plucked it from her mind without her even noticing, but he let her work through it. He was determined to not make the same mistakes he would have before, even if she wouldn’t have known it.

“Ben?”

“Hmm?” he kept his eyes on their hands clasped together.

“Why… Why did you choose the dark side in the first place?”

While Ben knew that question would come up eventually, he hadn’t expected it so soon. And he hadn’t expected to feel this way about it, nervous but also at peace in a way. He knew the answer, he also knew that nothing he could say would be a good enough reason. He thought for a moment, trying to find the right words.

“The easy answer would be that I didn't choose it, I was tricked into it. But I think there was more to it than that. It offered me something I needed. Or wanted. I’m not sure at this point,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I assume you know the Jedi Code?”

“ _There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force,_ ” Rey recited.

“That’s what I had been told for most of my life. ‘There is no emotion. There is no passion. There is no chaos.’ I had a lot of those things, and to be told that they were bad from a young age was suffocating. I felt trapped, alone, with no outlet for my anger, not supposed to feel anything but peace. And then I’d hear Snoke’s voice in my head. Things about how I should just let go. Surrender to my anger,” he stopped again, looking for more of the right words.

“Do you know the Code of the Sith?” he looked to Rey.

“I heard it once, but I can’t remember specifics.”

“ _Peace is a lie. There is only Passion. Through Passion I gain Strength. Through Strength I gain Power. Through Power I gain Victory. Through Victory my chains are Broken. The Force shall free me._ ”

It was quiet for a moment, then he spoke again. “It sounded like a better way to go. Easier, anyway. To do something with all the pent up anger and other emotions I wasn’t supposed to feel but did anyway, instead of just letting them fester inside. To be in control of what I felt and use it to get what I wanted”

Another pause.

“But it was all a lie. Snoke lied. He said I would be free, but he tortured me, kept me as his attack dog for _years_ . I was in even less control. At first it seemed like I had _more_ control, but once you surrender to that anger, it’s _harder_ to control it. And by the time I realized that, realized that I was essentially a prisoner, that he had manipulated and abused me, I was in too deep. Or I thought I was. I felt more trapped and alone than I ever had with the Jedi. But then _you_ –” he angled his body toward Rey, taking her face in both his hands as she looked at him with wide eyes. “You looked right at me and told me it wasn’t too late. Even after everything I’d done to you. Then you came to me on the Supremacy, finally gave me the drive to actually do something about it. Snoke torturing me, I was used to. I had learned how to handle it, make myself either numb or stronger from the pain. But when he… I knew I couldn’t stop him from doing that to you, I wish I could have. But that was the turning point.”

Rey lifted her hands to wrap around his wrists as his hands trembled slightly. Ben took a deep breath and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I know things didn’t go the way either of us wanted that day. But I need you to know that what you did, the things you said, they mattered. I wasn’t ready to accept it yet, that I could change, that the light wasn’t gonna just go away if I wished hard enough. But you saw Ben Solo under the mask. And that meant _everything._ "

He pulled away and opened his eyes to find Rey’s peering at him, a tear sliding down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.

“It came true,” Rey said quietly, almost a whisper.

“What did?” Ben brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“My vision… You turned because I went to you. It just didn’t go the way I thought it would, like you said,” she pulled his hands away from her face, holding them in her lap.

“I guess… I guess it did,” he turned and pressed against the wall, keeping his eyes on her.

She rested her head on his shoulder again, only to pop back up a minute later.

“Not even three days ago you told me to surrender to the Dark side, that it’s in our nature–”

“There was still a part of me that wanted that, wanted to turn you, but I think I was mostly trying to convince myself, not you,” Ben cut her off before she could finish.

“So you didn’t think it’s in our nature?” she asked.

“No, I _still_ think it’s in our nature. But… maybe it’s in everyone’s nature. The Dark side… the things it feeds off of… those things are natural. Anger and pain and passion come with being alive.”

“But so do the things the Jedi lived by. Compassion and striving for peace.”

“That’s true.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“I think… you can’t know true happiness without also knowing sadness or desperation. You can’t have one without the other, but there has to be a balance. All those things are a part of life,” Rey said as she turned her head to look at him.

He nodded, eyes staring at the opposite wall

“Some people are just more susceptible to one or the other, the Light or the Dark,” he looked back to her.

“You know… the more I learn about the Jedi, the more I don’t want to be one. I know there’s darkness in me. I know there’s light in me, too. I just want to be somewhere in between,” she turned her head back down to their hands in her lap.

“I think that suits you,” Ben pulled a hand free and wrapped his arm around her.

“Would you help me?”

“Yeah, I’ll help you. If you do the same,” he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Alright,” Rey pulled away from him and smiled. Then she pushed herself off the bunk and stood. “You should sleep.”

She turned to leave, but was stopped by his voice.

“Stay,” he said.

She turned back and smiled again. She didn’t need any convincing. He had already shifted, was already laying down. She crawled up beside him and rested her head on his right shoulder, still wary of his unhealed wound. She angled her body towards him as he slid his arm under her and around her back, his hand settling on the curve of her waist. 

“Thank you,” Rey whispered after a few minutes.

“For?”

“For trusting me. I can imagine that’s not an easy thing for you.”

Ben was quiet for a moment.

“No, it’s not. And you’re welcome,” his arm around her tightened.

Rey smiled, snuggling closer to his side as she let sleep take over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @benvskylo  
> Also I’m recommending my favorite fics on TikTok @reylo.fics01 (used to be reylo.fics but I got locked out so if you follow that one, unfollow and go to the other instead!)
> 
> Comments are golden tbh
> 
> This chapter kicked my butt. I feel like in most stories I read we see a lot of inner conflict and issues with Ben, but not nearly as much for Rey. So part of the reason this took so long was I felt like I should show Rey dealing with her own crap, but I struggled to have it be in a way that stayed true to the character we see in the movies, if that makes sense. And I hope it made sense why she didn't let Ben into her head even though he asked
> 
> Another reason is I had the first part when she cleans Ben's wounds in my head from a long time, but I struggled putting it into words. (It's high-key based off of The Amazing Spider-Man when Peter goes to Gwen after getting injured)
> 
> The story Lando tells about Chewie and Kinraths is from an unaired episode of the clone wars(from before it was canceled).
> 
> Also I definitely am forcing my opinions of the Jedi onto you guys. I'm sorry if you don't agree but they were the kinda the worst tbh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our faves return to the Resistance base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out! Right after I posted the last chapter, life started happening again. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I can't figure out why, so I may come in and change a few things later, but this'll do for now. Speaking of life happening, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during this crazy time💜
> 
> (Please read the notes at the bottom, there’s some important info there)

The Millenium Falcon touched down a few miles away from the Resistance base; far enough to not draw too much attention, but close enough to be met by an escort when they landed. Rey had since finished healing Ben, and they descended from the boarding ramp behind Lando and BB-8 just as Poe Dameron and Finn approached the ship.

“Word on the street is,” Poe pointed to Ben, “you’ve disappeared. Or you’re dead. Depends on who you ask.”

“Great,” Ben grunted and crossed his arms.

“What’s left of the First Order is at a standstill. Only a few generals remain, and apparently none of them are willing to lead the Order. They can’t move forward without a Supreme Leader,” Finn said.

“What do we do about it?” Rey asked as the group formed a circle, Poe dropping to one knee to properly greet his droid.

“ _We_ don’t do anything yet. It’s up to _him_ , the actual Supreme Leader,” Poe looked up from his spot on the ground, nodding to Ben. 

The group collectively turned to him. Rey placed a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. He was silent for a moment as he looked down at the ground, thinking.

“I don’t want to go back,” he said quietly, almost a whisper. He looked up, eyes turning to everyone in the circle until they landed on Rey.

“I don’t want to go back,” he said again, more confidently this time, never looking away from her.

“Then you don’t go back,” Poe stood and crossed his arms. “But we could use your help, if you’re up for it. You’ve been involved with the Order for years, you know it inside and out. You can help us get rid of what’s left. Or at least negotiate with them.”

“ _You_ want to negotiate with the remaining First Order generals?” Rey scoffed.

“If that’s how we finish this, then yes. I’m tired of fighting. The galaxy is tired of fighting. And we have more allies than the Order does at this point. So if negotiating with them could ensure no more fighting, I say we try it,” Poe turned to Ben. “Just think about it, okay? You could be the key to all of this.”

“I’ll think about it,” Ben sighed. “I don’t want to get stuck between sides.”

“That’s... understandable I guess. Take a few days, but we do need an answer soon. We can’t sit around and let them decide that one of them is fit to lead.”

“Who’s left?” After leaving with the knights to find Rey, General Pryde had apparently taken charge and therefore Ben had no idea who had gone where leading up to the battle on Exegol.

Poe turned to Finn, who listed off a few names. Ben smirked as he heard them. The remaining generals had been recently promoted to the position and were nothing special. The Resistance would probably have little to no trouble negotiating or just taking control of what was left of the Order, even without his help.

“Shouldn’t be too hard to deal with them.”

“Assuming there’s no one else we haven’t heard about,” Poe grunted.

It was quiet for a moment. That was a very real possibility, that someone had been able to escape the planet after or during the battle, or that a few names had slipped past their radar. Ben dropped his arms to his side, his hand finding Rey’s. He caught Finn looking displeased at their joined hands, though much more understanding than he had seemed back on Exegol.

Lando broke the silence, gesturing to Ben. “What’s going to happen now that he’s here?”

“Yeah, that’d be useful to know,” Ben muttered as Rey squeezed his hand.

She had been wondering the same thing in the back of her mind since they had left Dantooine. Not everyone knew Ben Solo had been Kylo Ren, not everyone knew that Leia had a son or that Ben had even existed. Those weren’t the people she was worried about. It was the people who DID know his identity, and she had no idea how many of them there were.

“You’re good to be at the base for a while, not a ton of people stuck around after Exegol. Went back to their home planets. We’ve been talking to those who stayed, asking if they knew who you were, what they knew about you, that sort of thing,” Poe started.

“What do you mean ‘asking if they knew who I was’?” Ben tensed a little, and Rey leaned in a little closer to him in reassurance as his grip on her hand tightened.

“We asked if they’d ever heard about you. Not Kylo Ren, but Ben. If they knew Leia had a son. Some did, some didn’t. Anyone who didn’t know, we just kinda let it be. But anyone who does know who you are has been filled in.”

“To an extent, at least,” Finn added.

“Yeah, no reason to stir up the fire.”

Rey raised her brow. “Define ‘to an extent’.”

“If they didn’t know about him being Kylo Ren, we didn’t tell them that. Just that Ben Solo is back. Surprisingly not a lot of people knew you were Kylo,” Poe shifted his gaze from Rey to Ben.

“I can’t imagine that’ll last long, I spent the last year as Supreme Leader of the First Order without that damn mask. Someone’s bound to recognize me,” Ben sighed.

“If someone does happen to recognize you, we’ll take care of it,” Poe said. He crossed his arms in front of his chest as Ben nodded, only slightly less uneasy at the thought.

“So what, we just walk onto the base?” Rey asked.

“Well, yeah. Like we said, it’s mostly empty. Lay low, at least for the time being, but you shouldn’t have a problem,” Poe offered a small smile.

“Come on, then. I’ll drop down closer to base. I’m starved,” Lando said, turning to the Falcon and waving the rest inside.

Poe walked in stride with Ben and Rey. “By the way, I’m sure you were aware of a spy in your ranks?”

Ben nodded. Of course he had been aware.

“It was General Hux,” a grin crept across Poe’s face.

“That... doesn’t surprise me,” Ben sighed. He had actually suspected Hux since word of the spy had gotten around, but couldn’t find himself to care as much as he probably should have.

Lando’s declaration brought it to both Rey and Ben’s attention that neither of them had eaten a real meal in days, not since before Exegol. The Falcon had been stocked with small snacks and rations, courtesy of Poe, but nothing sustaining.

They were at the base several minutes later, and soon enough Finn was walking with them to the mess hall. He was slowly getting more comfortable with the idea of Ben; after all, who was he to judge? Ben had been infinitely more trapped in the First Order than he had ever been, he was starting to see that now. After he and Rey had left for Dantooine, Poe had sat Finn down and told him everything he knew about Ben Solo; although he had decidedly left out most of what Rey had told him about Exegol, as Poe thought it best for Finn to hear it from Rey and Ben themselves. 

They sat side by side, quietly eating, as Finn sat across from them and observed. The way Rey seemed so at ease in Ben’s presence now, welcoming it even, helped to further soothe Finn’s worries. He admittedly didn’t like the hand holding, but Rey seemed more at peace, happier, than she had been in a long time and that was what mattered most to Finn.

Several minutes stretched by quietly. Then a voice broke across the room, quiet but clear in the almost empty space.

“Ben Solo.”

Ben’s back was turned from the voice’s owner, but he didn’t need to see her to know Maz Kanata had found them. He froze in his seat. It had been what, twenty years? since he had last seen her, maybe more.

Rey nudged him with her elbow and he looked at her with wide eyes. Something, not quite fear, more of a discomfort, flashed through them. Rey rolled her eyes and turned from him in her seat to face Maz.

“Show me your face, Ben,” Maz told him.

He turned very slowly, knees bumping against Rey’s as he did so. She placed a hand on his arm and he felt himself relax a little under her touch. Maz peered at Ben, eyes squinting slightly behind her goggles. Her scrutinizing gaze was something he’d nearly forgotten, but he held it.

“I should go,” Finn stood. Rey turned to him and smiled, watching as he rounded the table and placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll talk later?”

Rey nodded in response and turned her attention back to Ben and Maz after watching Finn leave the room. They sat in silence for a long moment, before Maz’s gaze moved from Ben’s face, down to his arm where Rey’s hand still rested. A small, knowing smile grew on her face as she looked to Rey.

“I see you’ve found it,” the humanoid chuckled quietly.

“I’ve found… Oh.”

 _‘The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.’_ The words rung in her ears just as they had back then.

Rey glanced at Ben to find him already watching her with curiosity.

' _I'll tell you later_ ,' she sent the thought to him, then looked back to Maz.

“I guess so.”

Maz took her free hand in both of hers and gave her that same stare. “Good. Don’t let it go.”

Rey felt her cheeks redden slightly as she smiled and nodded. Maz patted her hand lightly before letting go and turning back to Ben.

“You have some work ahead of you. But you already know that, don’t you.”

“Yes,” Ben nodded.

“And you know it won’t be easy.”

He nodded again and felt Rey’s hand move down his arm. He twisted his hand to capture hers.

“But you know you’ll have help,” Maz’s voice softened.

Rey squeezed his hand and they both turned to look at the other. His eyes moved over her face for a moment, then gave her a tiny smile. “I know.”

*

Their crystals were all but forgotten over the next week. Ben agreed to help Poe with negotiations with the remaining First Order generals, while Rey and Finn made their way to Naboo to meet with the current Queen and discuss a potential base on the planet. Ben and Poe followed a few days later to solidify the deal, and then for the first time in a very long time, they were able to just _relax_.

The Nabooian Queen was already aware of Ben’s ancestry and insisted they all stay on-world for as long as they would like. Finn and Poe stayed for a day before deciding to go back to base, but Poe nearly threatened Ben and Rey into staying longer.

“You guys need a break,” he said as the three of them stood in the hangar, Finn off helping a few of the Queen’s men prep their ship for takeoff.

“We can do that just fine at the base,” Rey retorted. Relaxing for any extended period of time wasn’t something she was accustomed to, especially not in a large lakeside mansion on a beautiful planet.

“Rey, I will literally get into my X-wing and shoot at the Falcon if you try to land on Ajon Kloss any sooner than four days from now,” Poe crossed his arms.

Rey felt Ben’s hand on her back, his thumb slowly moving up and down against her spine.

 _'You know he’s right.'_ He whispered into her mind.

_'What if something happens-'_

_'It’s only for a few days. If something happens, we can leave. Just stay here with me.'_

Well she couldn’t say no to that. The past week had left them with almost no time alone. 

“Okay, fine. Fine,” she sighed. Not that she needed to, Poe was already on his way back to his transport ship. 

“Have fun!” he yelled over his shoulder, then disappeared up the boarding ramp.

She leaned into Ben’s side and groaned. “I swear, he and I are going to end up killing each other one of these days.”

Ben slid his hand from her back to wrap around her waist and pull her closer as they watched the ship move out of the hangar and into the sky.

“Let’s go,” he whispered in her ear and released her, only to grab her hand and tug her toward the exit of the hangar.

A thought struck her as she let him lead her on a pathway that trailed down the hill the hangar was situated on and back to the house. “Have you been here before?”

His steps faltered for a moment, then continued. 

“Yes, when I was very young,” he looked down to her, then back to their destination. 

“This house belonged to my grandmother’s family. My mother had business on-world once, she brought me along and the Queen told her about this place. It seems like it hasn’t changed at all.”

"What did you do here?"

"Swam in the lake, mostly. Climbed trees. There aren't a lot of things here for a kid to enjoy."

Rey smiled to herself as they continued their walk, conjuring images of a tiny Ben splashing in the water and hanging from one of the large trees on the property.

*

On the last morning of their stay, Rey woke to find Ben absent from the bed, though the imprint on the pillow beside her told her he hadn’t been gone long. She slowly sat up and rubbed at her eyes, before looking around the expansive room.

The bed she occupied lay in the center of it, covered in a silky pale blue fabric and much too big for just two people. The golden colored walls were bare, save for two large windows flanking double doors leading out to a large balcony that overlooked the lake, all covered with curtains the same color as the bed. The balcony doors were open, a light breeze playing with the flimsy curtain that partially covered the doorway. She smiled to herself as she spotted a figure, undoubtedly Ben, standing out on the balcony.

Slipping out of bed, she grabbed a light blanket from a nearby chair and wrapped it around her shoulders. The morning air was just a little too chilly for her liking. She stepped out onto the balcony.

Ben stood by the edge, shoulders hunched over, with his hands clasped in front of him and forearms resting on the railing. He looked out over the lake, the rising sun just starting to peak over the mountains and painting the water and surrounding sky in soft pinks and purples and golds. Sensing Rey behind him, he turned his head back and watched as she approached with his lips turned up in a small smile. She came to a stop beside him and quietly gasped as she took in the view.

“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered after a moment. 

Ben hummed in agreement as he straightened and moved behind Rey, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close. She sighed contentedly and leaned back against him, head resting on his shoulder and arms crossed over his.

They watched the sun slowly rise higher in the sky in a comfortable silence until it had fully emerged from behind the mountain in the distance; the only sounds being the lake lapping against the shore, birds waking up in nearby trees.

“I don’t…” Ben very quietly started. “I don’t remember the last time I was able to just watch a sunrise.”

Rey froze for a moment. While she had seen her fair share of sunrises, albeit none nearly this beautiful and none spent in the arms of the man she loved, she had never thought much about them. It was just one of those things you took for granted. Something that happened every day, at least if you were on-world somewhere.

She twisted her head to look up at him. His eyes were still trained on the lake. “Ben?”

His gaze shifted down to hers.

“The other day, when we first got back to the base, you said you didn’t want to go back or be caught between sides.”

His brow pinched together slightly. “Yeah?”

“Well, what _do_ you want?”

He sighed as they both turned their gaze back to the lake. It was quiet for just a moment as Ben thought over her question.

“This. I want to be free,” he said. She felt his lips lightly brush over her temple as he spoke, keeping his voice just above a whisper. “I want to be able to watch the sun rise and set on whatever planet I’m on. Or to feel whatever I’m feeling without worrying if someone will find out and punish me for it. I just want to be my own person, not what someone else tries to make me into.”

Rey turned in his arms to face him, bringing her hands up to his cheeks as he looked down at her.

“Can I tell you something else I _don’t_ want?”

She nodded as his arms loosened from being wrapped around her back, his hands coming to rest on her waist. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, gathering a little courage for the next few words he would say before opening them again.

“I don’t want to do any of that without you,” his voice was even quieter, almost shy. His eyes searched her face before bringing his head down, resting his forehead on hers.

“You won’t have to,” she whispered as she tilted her head up and briefly met his lips with hers before wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt his move to their previous position across her back, pulling her against him and burying his face in her neck. They stood there, holding each other as Ben again working up the courage for his next words. 

“I love you,” he murmured into her skin, holding her even closer.

This was something Rey already knew, but to hear it said out loud was somehow even better. She pulled back just enough to see his face. She studied it for a moment, taking in the look in his eyes that was somehow terrified and hopeful at the same time, and suddenly that’s how she felt as she echoed the words she had heard in fondly told stories from years ago.

“I know,” she whispered. The corners of his mouth turned up into that small smile that made her melt. He knew what she meant, of course, but she felt it wasn’t enough, so she continued in that same whisper. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr- @benvskylo  
> For fic recommendations, follow on Tiktok- @reylo.fics01
> 
> I don't know much about politics, so I decided to leave out the negotiations. All you need to know is that they went well :)
> 
> I'll let you guys decide what went down during their little vacation on Naboo... ;) personally, I like to think they had some nice picnics, maybe swam in the lake, and definitely did not creepily eat pears. Also, sorry if that last scene is kinda awkward, I've had it in my head for at least a week and couldn't get it quite right in words but it's important for the next chapter
> 
> Speaking of the next chapter, that will be the last one. (I've had the next chapter planned for a while so it should be up in a week or 2) This story was never meant to be very long, it's actually already a lot long than I originally thought it would be. I'm not ruling out continuing their story later on, but for right now I don't have any plans for it.
> 
> I do have a new fic called 'something in the stars' in the works though! It's an 'A Walk To Remember' AU, and the second chapter should hopefully be up in a few days!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick trip to Tatooine never hurt anyone  
> (ok TECHNICALLY in the past, yes it did. But not this one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end! I definitely made myself cry writing this. Thank you everyone who's read this story, I've got a few more notes at the end for you all :)
> 
> Also, in preparation for this chapter, I've gone through the rest of the story and edited some things. Nothing plot altering, just cleaning stuff up, rewording stuff, adding some dialogue, things like that. The biggest changes are in chapters 1-4. (I would recommend at least rereading the first chapter, as a new change is referenced in this one)

_3 months after the Battle on Exegol_

The hum of the Falcon’s engines filled Rey’s ears as she looked out the viewport, the bright lines characteristic of hyperspace streaking past. Their trip was a short one, only a few hours from Naboo to their destination. After Poe and Finn finalized their deal with the Queen, the Resistance had gone back and forth between the planet and Ajon Kloss in preparation for a permanent base instead of a pack-up-and-go-at-a-moment’s-notice base. This trip, however, was a personal one. 

She glanced over at Ben, slouched down and fast asleep in the co-pilot chair, his right arm tucked across his chest with his other hand still holding onto hers. A small smile formed across her lips. As much as Rey loved Ben’s company, she let him sleep. The man was somehow still catching up on years of sleep deprivation. 

The past three months had been busy.

The Resistance started working with more local governments from across the different regions in preparation to form a new galaxy-wide government, something that would last this time. Ben initially hadn’t wanted to be involved, but he had ideas. _Good_ ideas, though he refused to be any sort of ruler.

The Force had been busy as well. True to his word, Anakin had visited both of them more than once to aid Ben in his transition back to the light. It wasn’t just a switch to flip, it was a somewhat long and sometimes hard process. But once the initial decision had been made, he was determined to see it through to the end.

To complete their sabers, Rey had taken Ben back to Ahch-To where they spent a week meditating over their crystals and designing their new weapons. Ben had wondered and worried for days about what color his blade would be, but to both of their surprise it had come out white.

On top of everything else, they had a relationship to navigate, which was new territory for both of them. They were still learning things about each other, things like how Ben was _funny_.

Rey let her thoughts drift from thinking over the past few months to the conversation they’d had just before getting ready to leave.

The topic of marriage had come up once before, just after their (forced) getaway in the lake country. Nothing serious, just briefly mentioned as a possibility, and agreed by both parties involved that it was too soon and to wait to talk about it further.

On Jakku, the concept of marriage was just that. A concept. The closest thing Rey had seen to an actual marriage during her time on the planet was an alliance between fellow scavengers; combining their scavenging efforts and the corresponding payments, keeping each other safe from attackers. From what she understood of these partnerships, love was not a requirement nor was it anticipated. They were created for survival. The first real marriage Rey had seen had only been after she left Jakku. 

Since that first mention, it was something Rey found herself wondering about from time to time. She knew what a marriage consisted of, and if she really thought about it, the relationship she and Ben had was the same. Just not in an official, formally recognized sense. She wasn’t _opposed_ to getting married, but as a product of her upbringing, she just didn’t feel it necessary. She understood Ben’s thoughts about it, but still felt that loving and being with each other was more than enough, more than she ever thought she’d have. 

When Ben had brought it up again just before their excursion, trying but ultimately failing to sound casual, she’d been surprised, to say the least. It wasn’t even a formal proposal. He knew of her thoughts on the matter and had reassured her through his words and through the bond that he didn’t want her to make a decision she didn’t want solely based on the fact that it was something he wanted. He told her that her decision wouldn’t change the way he felt about her, and she had been so skeptical that he had taken her hands in his, pressed her palms to his temples and told her to read his mind. He had, of course, been telling the truth; and she, in turn, had promised to think about it.

So as Rey sat in the pilot’s chair of the Falcon, holding onto Ben’s hand while he slept, she thought about it and all the reasons why she should agree to marry him.

They found extreme comfort in each other’s presence. They had quickly discovered this while Ben was still on Ajon Kloss and Rey on Naboo. During the day hadn’t been too bad since they had both been busy, but at night they had both tossed and turned with no protector to keep the nightmares away. The bond helped some, but they both knew it didn’t feel the same.

They knew how to help each other. Ben Solo had returned to the light, yes. But darkness lives in everyone, whether they like it or not. There were moments where he would start to feel it creeping back in, get that crushing feeling in his chest that he knew all too well or a sudden burst of anger over something small and Rey would be there next to him through all of it, to soothe him through the bond and hold him close while he worked through it. And at night when the occasional nightmare would slip through, when Rey would wake gasping for air with her heart pounding in her chest, Ben would wrap her in his arms and let her cry into his shoulder if she needed to while he ran his fingers through her hair and down her back. They were there for each other in ways no one ever had been.

They trusted each other. This was a huge thing for Ben, to be able to trust someone with anything. As time went on, it was getting easier to trust the other people around him, but he still struggled with it. He had gone so long without feeling safe, even if he hadn’t realized it at the time. So to feel safe enough to be vulnerable and express through words or show her through the bond what he felt or what he was thinking was a big step. Rey felt proud to be that person for him, the one he trusted without even a second thought. Beyond that, their bond didn’t allow room for much deception unless one was actively trying to keep the other out, and they both had agreed to never read the other’s mind without clear permission, nor did they feel the need to do so.

Her list grew and grew. It contained silly things, like how they both loved jogan fruit. It contained more serious things, like how they had been connected through the Force seemingly since the day she had been born, possibly even before that.

It also contained the most obvious and important one, that they loved each other. She had never loved anything or anyone more than she loved Ben Solo, and she knew he loved her just as much. Nothing could change that.

She went over her list again and again until the Falcon signaled they were approaching their destination, shaking her out of her almost meditative state. Ben shifted in his seat, slowly opening his eyes. His hand still clutched hers and he pulled it to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles.

“Good morning,” she teased as she watched him stretch in the chair.

“Mmm hi,” he gave her a smile, that one that he knew made her melt, as he leaned over to kiss her hello.

They made planetfall at dusk, just before the twin suns would set and disappear behind Tatooine’s seemingly endless flat desert. There was once a time Rey assumed all desert planets looked the same, but after the dull tan of Jakku and the yellow gold of Pasaana, the area surrounding what was left of the Lars moisture farm seemed almost white when she and Ben disembarked from the Falcon, followed closely by BB-8.

They paused just before taking their first steps onto the sand, looking out at the flat expanse of land, the dome that had once served as the entrance to the home, the clouds in the sky that really shouldn’t have been there considering how dry the planet was.

“Have you been here before?” Rey turned to Ben.

He shook his head, eyes still on the moisture farm in front of them. “No.” 

He looked to her then, extending a hand. She smiled and took it, her other hand holding onto the strap of her bag slung across her chest. They made their way across the sand and to a large pit beside the dome. Peering over the edge, they could see the living space carved in beneath the surface, long overrun with sand.

Rey let her gaze wander, taking in the space before them and eventually turning to look behind them. Her eyes landed on a large piece of sheet metal, partially buried in the sand just a few feet away. She let go of Ben’s hand and picked up the material.

“What are you doing?” he asked as she shook the sand off and placed it at the edge of the pit.

She said nothing, just smiled up at him as she sat down, kicking off with her feet. She heard him laugh as she slid down the dune of sand that had collected in the pit over the years. Once at the bottom, she stood and brushed off her pants, then turned to look at Ben who was watching her from the surface.

“Care to join?” she called up to him.

He chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’ll take the stairs.”

As they had passed the stone hut, he had thought he spotted a flight of stairs leading down into the underground home. He strode back to it, and -seeing he had been correct- ducked inside and met Rey at the bottom of the stairs. They spent the next several minutes exploring the homestead, looking into rooms and brushing sand away. Rey’s scavenger senses were starting to kick in, but Ben was able to pull her away before she could decide to excavate the whole farm.

“If you really want to, we can come back later,” he promised, chuckling. He himself was curious to see what the place would look like without all the sand, but they had come to Tatooine for a reason.

He took her hand and led her up the stairs, back to the surface. They settled on the ground a few paces away from the entrance, kneeling side by side. Rey lifted her pack from her shoulder, setting it in front of them.

It was quiet as they pulled out the contents of the bag. Ben held his mother’s saber close to his heart in one hand for a moment, closing his eyes. 

_“I’ll always be with you,”_ he heard a voice whisper, accompanied by a feeling of warmth in his chest. He felt Rey’s fingers close around his free hand and smiled. She had heard it too. He sat there a moment, letting the feeling take over. It was one he knew well, from when he was small and would wake from a nightmare, only to find his mother already awake and opening his door to comfort him, having already sensed his turmoil. It felt like when she would hold him close, not knowing what was wrong but knowing that this would make him feel better, if just for a little while. A feeling he wished he had remembered earlier, but one he knew he’d carry with him for the rest of his life.

When he opened his eyes, Rey had already laid out the cloth they had chosen. They rested the two sabers side by side, then carefully wrapped them in the cloth. They looked to each other and nodded. Rey held her free hand out, hovering over the bundle. Ben’s hand joined hers a moment later. They reached out with the Force, pushing the bundle down, deep beneath the surface.

Ben’s grip on Rey’s hand tightened as the sabers disappeared, covered by the white sand.

“You alright?” she turned to face him. He kept his eyes on the indent in the ground for a moment, then looked up with a small smile. 

“I think so,” he released her hand and wrapped his arm around her. Rey scooted closer, leaning her head on his shoulder.

She closed her eyes as Ben pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be right back.”

He pushed himself off the ground and walked back to the Falcon, BB-8 close on his heels. Rey watched him disappear up the boarding ramp, then turned back to the indent in the sand at her knees. She smoothed it over, erasing any sign of it.

With a small smile on her lips, she pulled her new lightsaber from her belt. She studied the hilt for a moment, then ignited it. The pale yellow blade burst to life with a flick of her thumb against the gear. She held it upright, eyes traveling up to the end of the blade.

A quiet voice broke her concentration. She turned off the saber, bringing herself to stand.

“There’s been no one for so long.” The old woman stood several paces away, holding a lead rope connected to an unfamiliar creature. “Who are you?”

“I’m Rey.”

“Rey who?” The woman’s lips pursed.

Rey took a deep breath, turning her head for a moment to look past the Falcon where the hazy blue ghosts of the Skywalker family had appeared; Anakin behind Luke and Leia, a hand on each of their shoulders. They said nothing, just watched her with warm smiles. Movement out of the corner of her eye shifted her gaze to Ben standing on the ramp of the Falcon, leaning against the side, a hand holding onto the alcove above. His lips turned up in a smile as their eyes met.

“Rey Solo,” she said, almost without thinking, and turned back to the old woman. It sounded right, practically rolling off her tongue.

The woman simply nodded and turned, leading her creature away.

Rey watched her leave for a moment, then turned back to the Falcon where Ben had frozen in place. His smile had broken into a full-blown grin.

“What?” she chuckled and started towards him just as he stepped off the ramp.

He caught her in the middle, hands landing on her hips as her arms wound around his neck.

“Solo, huh?” he slid his hands around her waist.

“Well, it _does_ have a nice ring to it,” she smiled up at him, balancing on her toes to be closer to his eye level.

“So is that a yes?” One arm tightened around her to hold her up while his other hand moved to her face, pushing a strand of hair back into place. His smile softened, turning almost shy as his eyes searched hers.

“Yes,” she whispered. She smiled as his mouth descended to meet hers. She threaded her fingers through his hair, lowering her heels back to the ground and pulling him with her.

“I love you,” he murmured against her lips.

“I know,” she replied. By now it was a reflex to respond in this way, for both of them. They connected again, kiss after kiss blending together, holding each other close and reveling in each other’s happiness through their bond.

In the distance, past the ridges and sand dunes, a binary sunset sank low in the sky, signaling the end of the day. It didn’t feel like an ending, though.

There would be tough times ahead, with painful memories and disagreements. But there would also be times filled with joy and love and friends and family, new and old. Times filled with laughter and kisses and tears and babies. And they would do it all together.

So no. It didn’t feel like an ending.

It felt like a beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Alexa, play 'Finale' by John Williams"
> 
> Guys! Thank you everyone who has read and supported this story! It's my first one on Ao3 and I'm a little sad it's done but from the beginning I knew I'd end it like the movie, on Tatooine with a binary sunset, just better. I'm still not over these two or the ending we were given and I know most of you aren't either, so I hope this has helped someone else a little bit. I'm not ruling out a continuation of this story, but at the moment I don't have any plans to do so.
> 
> I wanna take just a second to explain my choice in color for Ben's saber. Anyone familiar with lightsaber lore knows that a red saber is made by bleeding an already tempered crystal, usually stolen from a Jedi. Fans of Rebels know Ahsoka's white sabers, which she created by purifying/healing crystals that had been bled. So as for my choice in color for Ben, I guess it's more of a metaphor for his soul, how he went from light to dark, then back to light. I hope that makes sense. I wanted to explain this but I didn't want to distract from the story, so that's why it's down here :)
> 
> I'm writing another story! It's called 'Something in the stars' and it's Reylo/'A Walk To Remember' AU. Go check it out if you're interested!
> 
> Again, thank you everyone who has read this/left comments/left kudos on this story! It means a lot, I couldn't have done it without you!


End file.
